1st day on the job

After a week of moving in and getting used to these new digs, I finally had my first, somewhat, "official" day as an army chaplain. I think it went well. I was pretty nervous and insecure about my lack of military knowledge. It becomes evident in so many different places, in knowing how to do the stretches in PT (different here than in training), how to salute (again, different here than what I was taught), .......

Nonetheless, I do think today went well. I've already got a couple of soldiers I'm scheduled to connect with for counsel and I have three more I need to pursue tomorrow. I'm looking forward to those. I'm also doing a prayer at a change of command ceremony on Wednesday.

I spent some time in my office, which isn't the sexiest slice of the pie you could get but whatever....a little love and it'll have some character. The office will be the place I do a majority of my counseling, so I want it to be both disarming and comfortable. I'm sitting here wondering if Jesus would put pictures up if he had an office. I guess he'd hand a picture of mom. A pic of dad would be interesting. A pic of Jesus standing next to a bush on fire, with the caption underneath.... "me and dad"....

tangent...
I cannot believe the Pats lost yesterday. I was unable to watch it cause we didn't sign up for cable. Just glad I wasn't able to listen to WFAN and hear JETS fans gloat.....

I need to stop making the excuse of, "I'm brand new, so I don't know what I'm doing". It shows my insecurity. I did it to my command seargant major this afternoon. He was gracious but I don't think I left him with an "army strong" impression. Who knows. I do know that when the dust settles he'll be glad I'm on his team, I just want the learning curve to move quickly.

I was also issued a ton of army supplies today...helmet, battle armor and other stuff like that. I also went to the motor pool and saw my and my chaplains assitants vehicle this morning. My own humvee. Yipee,,,,,

Keri is now home from her ladies bible study. gotta run...

grace and blessings!!!

goodbye table saw :(

Some guy from El Paso just pulled out of my driveway with MY tablesaw and miter saw in the back of his pickup truck. For giggles I gave him my maul as well. I'm sad.

I used those things. Me and the maul spent more time together these past couple of years than me and my parents. I redid all the molding in the house with that miter saw. I thanked the Lord dozens of times as I cut a big piece of wood with that table saw.

And now they are gone. Kinda hit me that my life is different now. I do hope someday I will need them again....(daydream about retiring on a small farm...)

I spent this week driving around post (Fort Hood) having people initial a piece of paper called my inprocessing sheet. That enabled me to be an official Ft Hood soldier. Now that that is done, I have to do the same thing for the 2nd Chemical Batallion. This inprocessing helps me get all my documents in order as well as introduces me to some valuable army programs.

This week I met my chaplains assistant, my brigade chaplain, my "XO"--executive officer, and my "CO"--commanding officer. All seem cool and happy to see/meet me. This battalion has been without a chaplain for a while. I've also met a number of the soldiers. I have this week off and will start bright and early a week from Monday at PT.

Speaking of PT, I need to pick it up a bit. I've been slacking.

Our house is slowly coming along. We need to get rid of a ton of stuff (hence the table saw departure). Still living in an ocean of boxes which can be quite stressful. I did just hook up the wireless internet a few minutes ago--enabling me to sit outside here and watch the kids torment this humungous anthill outside my house.

Oh well, I'll try to take some pictures this week and in the future to give you an idea of what things look like here.

grace & blessings....

moving ft hood

well, we're here at fort hood....we have a house but our stuff isn't coming until Wed.. That means we've been living in an empty house since last week. Sleeping and eating off the floor (well, we do have plates).

I was so sore (and a little sick with the flu) I decided we needed to sleep in an in the night before I actually start my job (tomorrow). So I finally get to get on the internet, which I havent been able to do since early last week.

My last week at training (Ft Jackson, SC) was training in marriage and singles seminars. Also saying farewell to many great folks I've met here...and preparing for the big move. There are 1 gazillion things to consider when PCSing in the army (permanent change of stationing). Outprocessing from fort jackson and inprocessing into fort hood. This on top of reuniting with the family and dealing with the sale of our house.

The move to fort hood went well. We stayed in hotels across the south and our house was waiting for us when we got to fort hood. We are living in a 4 bedroom house that reminds us of our place on Shawnee Blvd. As a matter of fact, there is a Shawnee Ct. right down the road from us, which we found ironic.

We were somewhat depressed when we saw the house. The yard is as big as our deck on buckery rd. No pond, no woods, no barn. All those things we were so blessed with were gone. The rooms are good size but it looks so empty and does not feel like home.

Then we met the neighbors on our cul de sac and were happy to see that they all have young kids and were very friendly. Our next door neighbor is a blackhawk copter pilot and left for iraq on sunday morning. I spoke to him and his wife and they are very nice. He is from Erie. So the nice community helped us cope with the sadness of all those things we miss.

Fort Jackson (SC) was a smaller army post. Fort Hood is huge, the biggest base in the world. I'm adjusting to the big city feel as compared to the smaller town feel of fort jackson which I came to enjoy. Both Keri and I say that Fort hood has a "southern california" feel to it. Its flat and not a lot of trees. I love trees. I love the woods.

I am now chaplain of the 2nd chemical battalion. This is a fairly new group and it kinda seems like I've been given the task of planting a church. Most other battalions are attached to an existing chapel and have established systems and schedules. Not so with 2nd chem. My assistant, SPC Brown (from Wooster, OH) showed me our building. It got a lot of..ummm...potential. It's basically an old building they gave the unit ministry team. SPC Brown has worked hard to get it up to snuff, but theres a lot more work to do. SPC Brown seems very committed and capable and I am excited to be working with him.

My main job will be....walking around. Yep, pretty much I'll be assigned the task of simply showing up at different places so the soldiers can see and get to know me. I consider it practice for when I start my life in politics. It will be a good exercise of stepping outside my comfort zone. As I get to know the soldiers, I'll have a better feel of how I can best be used at 2nd chem. I'm hoping to eventually establish some bible studies and maybe even a chapel service.

Yesterday, we got the kids ready and went to a church on post. It was a traditional protestant service with readings out of the KJV and singing out of hymnals....and no child care. About 100 people in a building that easily seated 400. As I sat there I couldnt help thinking they should blow this service up and let me put a new one together. I was thinking why am I here? Than during the meet and greet an man greeted me and introduced himself as the deputy chaplian of the 3rd corps. He, Chaplain (LTC) Keith Goode, was the 2nd most important chaplain on Fort Hood and a definite big wig. He was very nice. What was very cool was that he has 10 kids and they homeschool. Keri used her homeschool radar and identified them as homeschoolers as soon as she saw them. He invited us over his house for dinner last night and had a blast. I sat in his house picking his brain (and probably talking too much) for a few hours. I could not believe I was only days at Fort Hood and breaking bread with #2 on the totem pole. The fact that they homeschool and have kids the same age as ours means there will be more encounters. God is setting me up for sucess. How cool is that!

It also means that we will probably go back to that church, which isn't that bad. I can offer to help them out in some ways. It was also cool to chat with an older woman whose deceased husband served a couple of tours in Vietnam. I was happy to let her know that he service to our country was appreciated. She found pride and meaning and comfort in my words. Please do the same to those you meet who have served or are serving our country.

Well, my kids are getting out of control, and we gotta sign out of here or we'll have to pay for another night. I must report in uniform at 0845 tomorrow.

I'm sorry for lack of posts this last week. I should get internet tomorrow (or wed) and that should get me back on track.

I bump into many people and things that remind me of the folks at Solid Rock and places in the Lehigh Valley. I'm leaving the Kings and Schnecksville True Value customer cards on my key ring to remind me of those places.

conscientious objector

have a class on it tomorrow....chaplains don't decide, but they do advise commanders on this matter. It's 9PM and I just realized I have to bring in an assignment for tomorrow. sigh...fortunately it's not very big...

Stupid me gorged on barbecue tonight and I have to run hard tomorrow. I'm hurting right now. Tomorrow around 6:40 I will be hurting way worse. I knew what I was doing.......

Keri and kids are leaving on Thursday. It will be weird for them to go. It will signify an end of sorts to our time in the Lehigh Valley. I'm tempted to wax poetic but I need to do devos with the kids on Skype.

Please join us in prayer that we sell the house SOON!

the homestretch

Much to catch up on. It has been a while. I spent most of this week "in the field" at a simulated Iraqui army base, so I wasn't here to type anything. I've got some time this morning so I'll try to catch up.

First of all, we are beginning to finish things here. I've got family wellness seminars and a seminar in "How to Choose the right mate" the next two weeks, after that I am done. A short time ago, we went through a healthy marriage seminar called "Prep". This is a very popular and effective retreat-style seminar. The focus was....as you can imagine....communication. It was very well put together and I am now licensed to conduct the seminars. One thing that greatly encouraged me was that much of the material we went over was stuff that I do in my pre-marital counseling sessions. Nice to know that Phds and researchers confirm the stuff I taught. Those who I married: go back and look at your yellow book!

Another thing about the PREP seminar: it further confirmed that God is calling me to become a family life chaplain. Senior chaplains can have a few areas of emphasis: world religions, ethics, adminstration, hospital, family life. I want Family life...with prison as my second choice. Prison ministry, that is, not like me going to prison :).

The three days in the field were tiring but cool. It was hot! We did a lot of stuff the chaplain would do. Ministry to wounded and dying, memorial services, briefing commander, putting together a plan of action, counseling soldiers. And a lot of walking around......

Really, a lot of my job is simply gonna be walking around......making contact with soldiers...being at the mess hall for lunch, at the motor pool, the barracks...creating contacts.

It was good to see many of you last week at Solid Rock. I surprized Keri on friday night. She was shocked! Herbie drove me from the airport to my house and I went in my garage and called Keri from there. I asked her to check on something in the garage and was there when she came out. She screamed.

Sunday night, on the way home, we arrived at the airport and checked in for my flight a 645pm. They told me the flight was delayed and now leaving at 820pm. OK, thats fine, I would still be able to make my connecting flight. So I called Keri, she turned the van around and we had a dinner at the Bethlehem diner. I got back to the airport at 730 (for the 820 flight), and they told me that the plane was gone, that they left earlier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And...there were no other flights going out that night. I had a full Army day that Monday and now I wasn't gonna get there until 3PM. I was only a little upset. :) So I called Keri once again and she had to turn around once again and pick me up. Yes, it was another night with the family, but I was too stressed to enjoy it!

Thats enough for now...I want to write an email for USair and see what I can get for my greif. I also gotta start thinking about church.

I promise to write more this afternoon!!!!!
pjim

twins! battlemind

My bro' and his wife has twins today! Congrats Joe and Stacey and welcome Jackson and Jordan to the family. Good job.

As they were being born, I was fighting to stay awake during a seminar on "Battlemind". It was a great seminar, I was just wiped out from waking up so early and doing PT. For PT we did variations of pushups and situps. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. You can put your body in whatever position you want, but when both hands are on the ground and you are pushing up, it's a pushup. Our rest time in between exercises is the overhead arm clap, which is a jumping jack without the jumping part. So I guess it's just a jack. Anyways, sounds easy right? Try doing 50 of them, then doing 25 pushups and have to do 50 more. I found it funny when the sgt. looked at a chaplain and said, "you like tired, get some rest". Of course that meant that he had more arm claps. Funnier now, after a while they really begin to ache.

More of the same tomorrow. Hoo-ah!

Back to the battlemind seminar. Battlemind pertains to the emotional and mental challenges a soldier faces while deployed (in combat) and coming home from deployment. What is appropriate behavior in combat is not at home, and many soldiers struggle with the adjustment. This isn't simply PTSD but existing in two separate worlds. For example, when I was in germansville, I had little reaction when I heard a gun fired. You react differently to loud booms when you are "down range" (in combat). So much more I could say, there is a battlemind website that seems really interesting.

Sometimes I'm like "what in the world have I gotten myself into?" There seems to be endless and insurmountable struggles for these soldiers and I'm dragging my family into the middle of it all! But our God points out a young soldier walking in the distance, and I find clarity.

God is faithful!

killing paper

for those who might be interested--its a draft of my paper on killing--remember, only a draft (for those not interested--see below for update post)

Souza, James, M.

2^nd platoon/4^th squad

July 2009

On the ethics of killing

Two weeks after 9-11, I preached a sermon titled “Is it OK for President Bush to want to kill Osama Bin Laden?” My bottom line up front was, “it depends”. The preparation for that sermon has since influenced my theology about killing. As I prepare for the chaplaincy, I now realize that those convictions regarding Bush and bin-Laden also address the issue of soldier killing in combat.

I believe those convictions will help me as a chaplain in preparing soldiers to face the ethical dilemma of killing another human being. They will also assist in helping soldiers who have already killed process their actions and ultimately find peace.

I argue that combat killing can be justified based upon the biblical principle of stewardship. The key text is Romans 12: 17- 13:5.

A practical example of justification by stewardship:

One situation where most believe it is moral and ethical to kill is where a father acts to save the lives of his children. If an armed monster entered my house and I concluded that my children’s lives were in danger, I would kill the intruder without entering into a moral dilemma. Why? Because I am the protector of my children.

From the Free-Methodist (my endorser) perspective, all children ultimately belong to God, who, in turn, entrusts parents to raise them. Parents are stewards of their children, and God holds them responsible for their children’s welfare and upbringing. The principle of stewardship demands that the father act by any means necessary to protect his children. . . . If only it were that simple. The motivation that undergirds such action by any means necessary creates an important distinction between ethical and unethical killing, for the bible clearly instructs Christians “not to repay evil for evil” (Rom 12:17) and to “overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). Regarding the intruder, a father’s actions should not be vengeful. His actions are not based on feelings of anger or hatred for the intruder. Such actions would violate the above cited scriptures and constitute sin. In fact, the fathers thoughts should not on the intruder at all, they should rest solely on the welfare of his children. It is the difference between, “I’m protecting them” vs. “I’m killing him”. Thus, the act is stewardship based (dutiful) and not revenge based (personal).

David Grossman uses the metaphors of sheepdog and wolf to communicate the same message. The sheepdog kills to protect (dutiful) and the wolf kills to fulfill its own desires (personal). The acts are the same (killing) but the motivation behind each places them in a different ethical category. The sheepdog is noble while the wolf is depraved.

The bigger picture:

The idea of justifiable combat killing is a macro example of the above example. In Romans 13, the Apostle Paul states that governments are given authority by God, ordained to be “agent(s) of wrath” and bearers of “the sword”. The argument here is that governments are given the responsibility of stewardship over its citizens in much the same way fathers are given stewardship over their children.

In my 9-11 sermon, I argued that President Bush would be justified in wanting to kill bin-Laden if, as the God-appointed steward of the American people, he felt compelled to act on behalf of their safety. On the other hand, if Bush sought to kill bin-Laden based on feelings of outrage by the actions of 9-11, he would find no justification before God who commands us “not to repay evil for evil”. The bottom line, as it always seems to be in the Christian tradition, lies in the condition of one’s heart.

I believe the same principle holds for soldiers in combat. As soldiers, they are an extension of the President. Thus, they serve as our nation as stewards, protecting the American people as called upon by those to whom God has given authority. If the task of killing is approached this vein, it is justifiable. Soldiers kill the enemy as a means of protecting those people he/she has been appointed by God to protect. But, if in combat, the soldier kills the enemy out of outrage and desire to personally exact revenge, his/her actions cannot be justified. At this point the soldier would need counsel about grace and redemption.

Where the rubber hits the road:

Using Afghanistan as a relevant example, this argument would emphasize the rhetoric and past actions of the Taliban and Al-Qaeda. 9-11 reminds us that these groups pose a threat to every citizen of the United States. Presidents Bush and Obama, acting as God-appointed stewards, have decreed that military action must be taken in an effort to protect Americans. Soldiers carry out this protection by meeting Taliban and Al-Qaeda soldiers in combat, often resulting in death. The soldier is acting in the role of the sheepdog.

Conclusion:

There is no doubt that the line drawn here is unclear. Surely some level of anger is evident in every soldier during combat. How much anger is too much? At what point does the soldier cross the line from steward to personal? While all these questions are valid, I still believe that this perspective provides a solid foundation that would make sense to the soldier and provide clarity within the inherent tension involved with combat killing.