My bro' and his wife has twins today! Congrats Joe and Stacey and welcome Jackson and Jordan to the family. Good job.
As they were being born, I was fighting to stay awake during a seminar on "Battlemind". It was a great seminar, I was just wiped out from waking up so early and doing PT. For PT we did variations of pushups and situps. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. You can put your body in whatever position you want, but when both hands are on the ground and you are pushing up, it's a pushup. Our rest time in between exercises is the overhead arm clap, which is a jumping jack without the jumping part. So I guess it's just a jack. Anyways, sounds easy right? Try doing 50 of them, then doing 25 pushups and have to do 50 more. I found it funny when the sgt. looked at a chaplain and said, "you like tired, get some rest". Of course that meant that he had more arm claps. Funnier now, after a while they really begin to ache.
More of the same tomorrow. Hoo-ah!
Back to the battlemind seminar. Battlemind pertains to the emotional and mental challenges a soldier faces while deployed (in combat) and coming home from deployment. What is appropriate behavior in combat is not at home, and many soldiers struggle with the adjustment. This isn't simply PTSD but existing in two separate worlds. For example, when I was in germansville, I had little reaction when I heard a gun fired. You react differently to loud booms when you are "down range" (in combat). So much more I could say, there is a battlemind website that seems really interesting.
Sometimes I'm like "what in the world have I gotten myself into?" There seems to be endless and insurmountable struggles for these soldiers and I'm dragging my family into the middle of it all! But our God points out a young soldier walking in the distance, and I find clarity.
God is faithful!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
killing paper
for those who might be interested--its a draft of my paper on killing--remember, only a draft (for those not interested--see below for update post)
Souza, James, M.
2nd platoon/4th squad
July 2009
On the ethics of killing
Two weeks after 9-11, I preached a sermon titled “Is it OK for President Bush to want to kill Osama Bin Laden?” My bottom line up front was, “it depends”. The preparation for that sermon has since influenced my theology about killing. As I prepare for the chaplaincy, I now realize that those convictions regarding Bush and bin-Laden also address the issue of soldier killing in combat.
I believe those convictions will help me as a chaplain in preparing soldiers to face the ethical dilemma of killing another human being. They will also assist in helping soldiers who have already killed process their actions and ultimately find peace.
I argue that combat killing can be justified based upon the biblical principle of stewardship. The key text is Romans 12: 17- 13:5.
A practical example of justification by stewardship:
One situation where most believe it is moral and ethical to kill is where a father acts to save the lives of his children. If an armed monster entered my house and I concluded that my children’s lives were in danger, I would kill the intruder without entering into a moral dilemma. Why? Because I am the protector of my children.
From the Free-Methodist (my endorser) perspective, all children ultimately belong to God, who, in turn, entrusts parents to raise them. Parents are stewards of their children, and God holds them responsible for their children’s welfare and upbringing. The principle of stewardship demands that the father act by any means necessary to protect his children. . . . If only it were that simple. The motivation that undergirds such action by any means necessary creates an important distinction between ethical and unethical killing, for the bible clearly instructs Christians “not to repay evil for evil” (Rom 12:17) and to “overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). Regarding the intruder, a father’s actions should not be vengeful. His actions are not based on feelings of anger or hatred for the intruder. Such actions would violate the above cited scriptures and constitute sin. In fact, the fathers thoughts should not on the intruder at all, they should rest solely on the welfare of his children. It is the difference between, “I’m protecting them” vs. “I’m killing him”. Thus, the act is stewardship based (dutiful) and not revenge based (personal).
David Grossman uses the metaphors of sheepdog and wolf to communicate the same message. The sheepdog kills to protect (dutiful) and the wolf kills to fulfill its own desires (personal). The acts are the same (killing) but the motivation behind each places them in a different ethical category. The sheepdog is noble while the wolf is depraved.
The bigger picture:
The idea of justifiable combat killing is a macro example of the above example. In Romans 13, the Apostle Paul states that governments are given authority by God, ordained to be “agent(s) of wrath” and bearers of “the sword”. The argument here is that governments are given the responsibility of stewardship over its citizens in much the same way fathers are given stewardship over their children.
In my 9-11 sermon, I argued that President Bush would be justified in wanting to kill bin-Laden if, as the God-appointed steward of the American people, he felt compelled to act on behalf of their safety. On the other hand, if Bush sought to kill bin-Laden based on feelings of outrage by the actions of 9-11, he would find no justification before God who commands us “not to repay evil for evil”. The bottom line, as it always seems to be in the Christian tradition, lies in the condition of one’s heart.
I believe the same principle holds for soldiers in combat. As soldiers, they are an extension of the President. Thus, they serve as our nation as stewards, protecting the American people as called upon by those to whom God has given authority. If the task of killing is approached this vein, it is justifiable. Soldiers kill the enemy as a means of protecting those people he/she has been appointed by God to protect. But, if in combat, the soldier kills the enemy out of outrage and desire to personally exact revenge, his/her actions cannot be justified. At this point the soldier would need counsel about grace and redemption.
Where the rubber hits the road:
Using Afghanistan as a relevant example, this argument would emphasize the rhetoric and past actions of the Taliban and Al-Qaeda. 9-11 reminds us that these groups pose a threat to every citizen of the United States. Presidents Bush and Obama, acting as God-appointed stewards, have decreed that military action must be taken in an effort to protect Americans. Soldiers carry out this protection by meeting Taliban and Al-Qaeda soldiers in combat, often resulting in death. The soldier is acting in the role of the sheepdog.
Conclusion:
There is no doubt that the line drawn here is unclear. Surely some level of anger is evident in every soldier during combat. How much anger is too much? At what point does the soldier cross the line from steward to personal? While all these questions are valid, I still believe that this perspective provides a solid foundation that would make sense to the soldier and provide clarity within the inherent tension involved with combat killing.
on killing and other things like 80's star wrestlers
Sorry for the gap in posts. Part of it is that they are keeping us longer every day. Part of it was that I was on duty platoon, which kept us even longer (duty platoon cleans up at the end of the day), part of it was that I was tired, and part of it was the hours I spent on Skype talking to Keri and the kids
All I have to say is that I love Skype!
But here I am on Saturday night--able to sleep in tomorrow. Yipee
A lot to update. I'm still praying and thinking about Al Barnes. Mitch is doing a great job with the updates...Keri and the kids have been sick all this week. Facing that alone is difficult enough, Keri has been doing it AS WELL AS getting the house ready for showings. I've concluded that my wife is the:
Well, I hope Keri receives that in the manner in which it was intended to be received. I guess there are multiple interpretations to something like that.
Anyways, I worked pretty much all day on a paper about killing. Specifically, the morality of killing. If you are a soldier, it is something you've got to deal with. As harsh as it sounds, it pretty much sums up their purpose. The Army is excellent at preparing soldiers to kill, but not as good in preparing soldiers to deal with it afterwards. We are not wired to find pleasure in blowing another human up and many, many (most) soldiers suffer fallout from combat stress and the dissonance of killing. This is where the chaplain comes in.
My paper today was about the morality of killing. When is it right, when is it not. It is a difficult concept to wrap your arms around for sure. It will be something I need to get settled right now, cause I'll be dealing with it. Perhaps I'll post the paper.
Also have had a lot of counseling classes, which I like. I hope to eventually become what the Army calls the family life chaplain. The Lord has impressed upon my heart the need for stronger families in the Army.
And I passed the physical training test on Monday. I needed a 180 and scored a 229. 45 pushups (could have done more but made a tactical error and lost a minute of time)...59 situps and 2 miles in 16:20. Not bad for starting training in late February. I really feel like I have so much more room to improve.
2 days after the PT test I went to the clinic and was diangnosed with achilles tendonitis in both feet. They get really sore after a hard workout and I end up limping for days so they want me to rest, ice and stretch them. I've forgotten what it is like to run without pain. Now that I think of it, I always found running painful....but this is, like real pain, not "I don't feel like doing this" pain. There is a difference.
Only like a month to go before I'm with my family, off to Texas, and really doing chaplain work. Once I get the Army stuff figured out, I think I will enjoy the ministry tremendously.
thanks for reading. I treasure more and more the people and events that shaped my present.
God is faithful!
All I have to say is that I love Skype!
But here I am on Saturday night--able to sleep in tomorrow. Yipee
A lot to update. I'm still praying and thinking about Al Barnes. Mitch is doing a great job with the updates...Keri and the kids have been sick all this week. Facing that alone is difficult enough, Keri has been doing it AS WELL AS getting the house ready for showings. I've concluded that my wife is the:
Well, I hope Keri receives that in the manner in which it was intended to be received. I guess there are multiple interpretations to something like that.
Anyways, I worked pretty much all day on a paper about killing. Specifically, the morality of killing. If you are a soldier, it is something you've got to deal with. As harsh as it sounds, it pretty much sums up their purpose. The Army is excellent at preparing soldiers to kill, but not as good in preparing soldiers to deal with it afterwards. We are not wired to find pleasure in blowing another human up and many, many (most) soldiers suffer fallout from combat stress and the dissonance of killing. This is where the chaplain comes in.
My paper today was about the morality of killing. When is it right, when is it not. It is a difficult concept to wrap your arms around for sure. It will be something I need to get settled right now, cause I'll be dealing with it. Perhaps I'll post the paper.
Also have had a lot of counseling classes, which I like. I hope to eventually become what the Army calls the family life chaplain. The Lord has impressed upon my heart the need for stronger families in the Army.
And I passed the physical training test on Monday. I needed a 180 and scored a 229. 45 pushups (could have done more but made a tactical error and lost a minute of time)...59 situps and 2 miles in 16:20. Not bad for starting training in late February. I really feel like I have so much more room to improve.
2 days after the PT test I went to the clinic and was diangnosed with achilles tendonitis in both feet. They get really sore after a hard workout and I end up limping for days so they want me to rest, ice and stretch them. I've forgotten what it is like to run without pain. Now that I think of it, I always found running painful....but this is, like real pain, not "I don't feel like doing this" pain. There is a difference.
Only like a month to go before I'm with my family, off to Texas, and really doing chaplain work. Once I get the Army stuff figured out, I think I will enjoy the ministry tremendously.
thanks for reading. I treasure more and more the people and events that shaped my present.
God is faithful!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
pics and update
The pic on the left was taken after our group completed the obstacle course a few weeks ago. It was a tough run! We called ourselves the "Old-Timers" cause most of us were 40+. The pic on the right was taken at Fort Sumter. It is my squad--2nd platoon, 4th squad. The guy to my left is going to Fort Hood with me after training. He also attended Asbury Seminary, which is cool.Tomorrow we have a PT diagnostic test. Push-ups, sit-ups, 2 mile run. Starts at 5AM. I'm gonna stretch my legs today and eat light. After that, another weeks worth of classes. We're hitting the time now where I need to start planning the move to Fort Hood. A lot to consider on top of an already full schedule.
I am continuing to believe that our God will do His redemptive work through Al Barnes' accident. I am so encouraged to hear all the good reports about Al's progress. I prayed a lot with that guy, he knows who is in charge.
Went to an 8AM service this morning, would love to lie on the bed and fall asleep for a few hours.
grace & blessings!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
not exactly basic training
I'm imagining that many held the impression that I was off to typical basic training. Far from it.
Not sure if I've gotten into this yet, but as things stand right now, this is more like college than basic. My day typically begins with waking up at 4:45 to prepare for the days first activity: Physical Training from 6-7AM. M-W-F are running days; Tu-Th are muscle failure days (endless pushups and situps). After that we can go back to our rooms to shower and report back to the classroom by 8:30. From 8:30 to 11 we have classes. From 11- 11:45 we have preaching lab. I already did both of my sermons so I can just sit back and observe for the rest of the time. Lunch (back to my room) from 12-1, and then more classes from 1-4. Usually there is some info and mail call at 4, so we end up finishing at like 4:30. Than we're done for the day. Of course, theres lots of homework.
Sometimes we do different stuff like Victory Tower or the obstacle course, this Tuesday we're going to Fort Sumter....but the usual day is what I describe above. Weekends are free unless your're loaded with homework, which is normal.
It's busy, but nothing like Basic training. No barracks, no drill seargants, no Army food. Actually, I've only eaten in an Army mess hall once. Other than that, it is "make your own". My room is more like a hotel room...with internet, cable, continental b'fast, and a little kitchenette. Today I invited the rest of my platoon over to grill some food and maybe play volleyball. I have a ribeye sitting in my fridge.
And for the most part, we're treated like professionals. But at the same time, we are expected to act like them and when we don't, we're put in our place. Doesn't happen a lot.
Tomorrow we will be going over how to do a RAMP service. That's the service when caskets of dead soldiers are loaded onto an aircraft to be flown home. Sobering, but certainly something I'll end up having to do.
OK, time to get ready for church.......
grace & blessings
Not sure if I've gotten into this yet, but as things stand right now, this is more like college than basic. My day typically begins with waking up at 4:45 to prepare for the days first activity: Physical Training from 6-7AM. M-W-F are running days; Tu-Th are muscle failure days (endless pushups and situps). After that we can go back to our rooms to shower and report back to the classroom by 8:30. From 8:30 to 11 we have classes. From 11- 11:45 we have preaching lab. I already did both of my sermons so I can just sit back and observe for the rest of the time. Lunch (back to my room) from 12-1, and then more classes from 1-4. Usually there is some info and mail call at 4, so we end up finishing at like 4:30. Than we're done for the day. Of course, theres lots of homework.
Sometimes we do different stuff like Victory Tower or the obstacle course, this Tuesday we're going to Fort Sumter....but the usual day is what I describe above. Weekends are free unless your're loaded with homework, which is normal.
It's busy, but nothing like Basic training. No barracks, no drill seargants, no Army food. Actually, I've only eaten in an Army mess hall once. Other than that, it is "make your own". My room is more like a hotel room...with internet, cable, continental b'fast, and a little kitchenette. Today I invited the rest of my platoon over to grill some food and maybe play volleyball. I have a ribeye sitting in my fridge.
And for the most part, we're treated like professionals. But at the same time, we are expected to act like them and when we don't, we're put in our place. Doesn't happen a lot.
Tomorrow we will be going over how to do a RAMP service. That's the service when caskets of dead soldiers are loaded onto an aircraft to be flown home. Sobering, but certainly something I'll end up having to do.
OK, time to get ready for church.......
grace & blessings
Saturday, July 11, 2009
a sobering realization
I watched about 1/2 an hour of a war movie last night. Not sure what it was, but Nicholas Cage was in it. As I sat on my bed taking in the combat scenes, I came to the stark realization that I'll never be able to casually watch a war movie like I used to.
Before, the blood and guts...and death, was entertainment. When the movie was over, so was the entire experience. I went on with my life without any thought. But as I watched Nicholas Cage die last night, it hit me that he was somebody, somebody with a wife and kids, somebody beyond a soldier on the battlefield. His wife and kids would never see him again. Someone (likely a chaplain) would be given the sobering task of visiting the family and telling them the news. Hard.
I've witnessed thousands of on-screen deaths in my many years of watching tv/movies. In the 1/2 hour I watched last night, dozens of men were killed. I began noticing even when the bad guys took bullets. I've become desensitized to this whole war/death thing, but it is real. A moment on the battlefield translates to a lifetime without a husband or daddy for so many.
A classic line from M*A*S*H came when Henry Blake was counseling Hawkeye over the death of a soldier. Blake said these words, which I've never forgotten: "rule number one of war is that young men die. Rule number two is that doctors cannot change rule number one."
Here is the business to which God has called me. God equips those He calls and I desire to be a willing servant.
praying for peace
pjim
Before, the blood and guts...and death, was entertainment. When the movie was over, so was the entire experience. I went on with my life without any thought. But as I watched Nicholas Cage die last night, it hit me that he was somebody, somebody with a wife and kids, somebody beyond a soldier on the battlefield. His wife and kids would never see him again. Someone (likely a chaplain) would be given the sobering task of visiting the family and telling them the news. Hard.
I've witnessed thousands of on-screen deaths in my many years of watching tv/movies. In the 1/2 hour I watched last night, dozens of men were killed. I began noticing even when the bad guys took bullets. I've become desensitized to this whole war/death thing, but it is real. A moment on the battlefield translates to a lifetime without a husband or daddy for so many.
A classic line from M*A*S*H came when Henry Blake was counseling Hawkeye over the death of a soldier. Blake said these words, which I've never forgotten: "rule number one of war is that young men die. Rule number two is that doctors cannot change rule number one."
Here is the business to which God has called me. God equips those He calls and I desire to be a willing servant.
praying for peace
pjim
Monday, July 6, 2009
a night in the airport
With the 4th of July, I was able to enjoy a brief visit to Buckery Rd. It was eventful and relaxing and sooooo great to be with Keri and the kids. Because of the brevity of the stay, we kept hush about it.
I was supposed to land in beloved Allentown late Thursday night. The plan was to have Keri pick me up and we'd spend the night in a hotel and do breakfast in the morning. Sounds great, right? Well the flight from SC to Washington DC was delayed, causing me to miss my flight to Allentown, causing me to end up spending the night in the Washington/Dulles Airport. In the midst of great disappointment, I realized that spending the night in an airport is an experience everyone should endure, so I dealt with it. I looked for a place that would have a lot of traffic (for safety reasons) and lots of chairs (for space reasons). I settled in the international flights baggage area. I was in and out of sleep all night and dreamed that one of the Chaplain instructors asked the class to name the greatest Negro leaguers from every position, a task I handled with ease. At 5AM, I decided to give up on sleeping and bought a cup of coffee.
Coming home was great and weird. Seeing my family made me so happy. Derrick said it best as we were on the couch talking. "It's like you never left dad". I made an effort to talk to everyone of them and give them their fathers blessing. Me Derrick and Emily had a great soccer game and I also got to run with Keri on Saturday morning!
I also got to spend time working on the lawn mower, which is broke. Joel came over Saturday and HOPEFULLY will get the thing working soon. It was good to see him.
Leaving was painful. We made it very quick, another minute and we'd of all been bawling.
So I've got just under 2 more months of training and then it is off to Fort Hood. I think I will enjoy the challenges of being a chaplain. As I grow more accustomed to Army etiquette, I will also enjoy the army life as well.
God is faithful. I've been reading through the gospel of Mark (a little at a time) this past month and I'm struck by the heart Jesus had for the hard-luck, outcast, low-man-on-the-totem-pole. Means that there is always hope for me.
Well, it's 9PM--gotta hit the sack...............
Here are my negro league all stars, with pride:
C=Josh Gibson
1b=Buck Leonard
2b=Bingo DeMoss (the hardest choice)
3b=Ray Dandridge
SS=Pop Lloyd
LF=Cool Papa Bell
CF=Oscar Charleston
RF=Christian Torriente
P=Bill Foster, Bullet Joe Rogan
(I selected only players who did not play in the majors, hence no Jackie Robinson)
I was supposed to land in beloved Allentown late Thursday night. The plan was to have Keri pick me up and we'd spend the night in a hotel and do breakfast in the morning. Sounds great, right? Well the flight from SC to Washington DC was delayed, causing me to miss my flight to Allentown, causing me to end up spending the night in the Washington/Dulles Airport. In the midst of great disappointment, I realized that spending the night in an airport is an experience everyone should endure, so I dealt with it. I looked for a place that would have a lot of traffic (for safety reasons) and lots of chairs (for space reasons). I settled in the international flights baggage area. I was in and out of sleep all night and dreamed that one of the Chaplain instructors asked the class to name the greatest Negro leaguers from every position, a task I handled with ease. At 5AM, I decided to give up on sleeping and bought a cup of coffee.
Coming home was great and weird. Seeing my family made me so happy. Derrick said it best as we were on the couch talking. "It's like you never left dad". I made an effort to talk to everyone of them and give them their fathers blessing. Me Derrick and Emily had a great soccer game and I also got to run with Keri on Saturday morning!
I also got to spend time working on the lawn mower, which is broke. Joel came over Saturday and HOPEFULLY will get the thing working soon. It was good to see him.
Leaving was painful. We made it very quick, another minute and we'd of all been bawling.
So I've got just under 2 more months of training and then it is off to Fort Hood. I think I will enjoy the challenges of being a chaplain. As I grow more accustomed to Army etiquette, I will also enjoy the army life as well.
God is faithful. I've been reading through the gospel of Mark (a little at a time) this past month and I'm struck by the heart Jesus had for the hard-luck, outcast, low-man-on-the-totem-pole. Means that there is always hope for me.
Well, it's 9PM--gotta hit the sack...............
Here are my negro league all stars, with pride:
C=Josh Gibson
1b=Buck Leonard
2b=Bingo DeMoss (the hardest choice)
3b=Ray Dandridge
SS=Pop Lloyd
LF=Cool Papa Bell
CF=Oscar Charleston
RF=Christian Torriente
P=Bill Foster, Bullet Joe Rogan
(I selected only players who did not play in the majors, hence no Jackie Robinson)
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