Tomorrow is day two of my ASIST training. ASIST is a suicide intervention program used by the army. I'll be certified to teach it to my battalion leadership. My presenter looked and talked and had the mannerisms of David Letterman. Sometimes I laughed to myself as I imagined Dave doing the presentation. Helped make the day go faster. Doing it all week. At least we get to wear civilian clothes.
What is hard about the training is that it takes me away from my soldiers for a week. I am feeling more and more "part" of the 2nd chemical battalion "red dragons" now. I am beginning to recognize faces and names and am at ease going just about anywhere I want. I have the authority (and expectation) to stick my head in any office and say "hey, hows it going?" Sometimes that leads to a longer conversation, sometimes nothing comes of it. I will say that more than once I've had a significant conversation after fighting the temptation to not go the extra mile or take the easy way out...kinda like, "eh, I don't feel like walking across the field to check on the 44th company, I'll just head back to my office..." This followed by a gentle, but firm feeling of conviction (God speaking). That, sometimes, followed by my obedience. The other day that exact thing happened and when I walked into this particular office I heard, "Chaplain, I'm so glad you are here...."
It was truly a privilege to be there as a young man earnestly asked Jesus to forgive his sin and give him new life. He prayed "the prayer", I prayed after him and at the end got up to give him a high five. He was hesitant, which made me assume the worst, but I had to laugh when he said he had to go back and finish the prayer because he forgot to do the "forgive me of my sins part". I gave him a bible study book on transportation, no transformation ( I was talking to Keri as I was typing) which he went through. He also made an effort to go to church on Sunday. I'd like to connect with him this week but see above about the suicide training.
The Souzas went to a carnival on Saturday night. We had fun, but the days of enjoying rides that spin me around 100mph are slowly fading. I had fun but round 2 of the spider nearly knocked me out.
I'm trying not to think about the Patriots. I was watching it in a deserted bowling alley on post. Some loud, friendly, obnoxious guy who innocently doesnt realize how obnoxious he is came in right as Bill made his fateful decision and made no bones in expressing his opinion. He was especially proud to call Reggie Waynes name before he caught the winning TD.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Spiritual Fitness
Came home an hour early to an empty house. I like the quiet. I can even see out the window and know when the van full of Souza's are heading this way. I have no excuse for dropping a line on the grace blog, so here goes.
Sometimes, often, I come home exhausted--physically and emotionally. I've got enough to be around the family in a meaningful way, but thats it. That is why I've been lax in blogging and calling mom.
Today I counseled a soldier who was absolutely despondent about his likely divorce. I could do nothing to help him. He left my office as miserable as he entered. I felt somewhat useless as I watched him go. Sometimes, often, we need to trust that God is capable enough to handle situations without our help. The soldier had no spiritual background and wasn't open to hearing a sermon with a salvation message. He did allow me to pray over him. This is the second time in two days I've had tough soldiers weep in my office as we prayed together. It makes me believe even more that the presence of the Holy Spirit is strong when we pray.
Next week our battalion goes out for a field exercise. I'll be out there all week camping and learning all about the chemical\biological\nuclear operations that go on in warfare. I'm kinda dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time. I'll be conducting a field service next Wednesday which will include a mini sermon. Looking forward to it. Still in the pray/seek mode, but I might preach on the passage about Jesus, the coin and "render to Caeasar" stay tuned for details.
The Army throws around the term "spiritual fitness" a lot. If the chaplain is gonna be relevant, he needs to figure out what spiritual fitness is and how to implement it into the soldiers lives. I need to find out how God wants ME to do just that.
Here comes the Souza van. From quiet to chaos in 5 seconds. Can't wait to see them.
5-4-3-2-1.........
Sometimes, often, I come home exhausted--physically and emotionally. I've got enough to be around the family in a meaningful way, but thats it. That is why I've been lax in blogging and calling mom.
Today I counseled a soldier who was absolutely despondent about his likely divorce. I could do nothing to help him. He left my office as miserable as he entered. I felt somewhat useless as I watched him go. Sometimes, often, we need to trust that God is capable enough to handle situations without our help. The soldier had no spiritual background and wasn't open to hearing a sermon with a salvation message. He did allow me to pray over him. This is the second time in two days I've had tough soldiers weep in my office as we prayed together. It makes me believe even more that the presence of the Holy Spirit is strong when we pray.
Next week our battalion goes out for a field exercise. I'll be out there all week camping and learning all about the chemical\biological\nuclear operations that go on in warfare. I'm kinda dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time. I'll be conducting a field service next Wednesday which will include a mini sermon. Looking forward to it. Still in the pray/seek mode, but I might preach on the passage about Jesus, the coin and "render to Caeasar" stay tuned for details.
The Army throws around the term "spiritual fitness" a lot. If the chaplain is gonna be relevant, he needs to figure out what spiritual fitness is and how to implement it into the soldiers lives. I need to find out how God wants ME to do just that.
Here comes the Souza van. From quiet to chaos in 5 seconds. Can't wait to see them.
5-4-3-2-1.........
Sunday, October 11, 2009
4 day weekend
One of the fringe benefits of the Army is the 4 day weekends. Every holiday that produces a three day weekend in the civilian world, produces a 4 day weekend in the army--meaning we get Friday and Monday off. I am in the middle of one of those right now. Kinda nice.
Work has been going good, though it sometimes seems like I'm not doing a whole lot. I'll spend a good chunk of every day walking around and visiting soldiers and having small talk. It's all about establishing relationship and letting the troops know that they have a place they can go, even if they don't need to go there at the moment.
One thing I do need to do is to put a list of classes together to at least offer to the company commanders. I will put it out there and let them choose what they think will best help their soldiers. Some things on the list will be high-maintainance relationships, conflict, pornography, love languages (relationship issues are big here), and the morality of killing. I'm not quite ready to teach that class yet, but I feel it is an important issue for soldiers to wrestle with. I'm of the camp that believes that this unresolved issue produces much inner struggle (PTSD) in soldiers as they come home from war.
I also need to plan a marriage retreat and bible study and prayer breakfast. And also services while we are out "in the field" from Nov. 2-6.
Self-disclosure time: I'm kinda nervous about planning all the above. Not because I don't think I can do it or that I'll suck cause I know I won't. I'm nervous about planning something and having bad turnout, like no one showing up. That would seriously bum me out. I'm having flashbacks now........ Whatever, gotta do it anyway.
I preached this morning at the Killeen Salvation Army. I met the head officer this week at the garrison chaplains office and he invited me on the spot. It was a great experience and i was glad to be preaching again. I was rather unfocused and was less than stellar. I actually felt like I did not have a word from the Lord, which probably became evident. I prayed tonight that God would speak to me "like He used to". But now I'm like, was that a good prayer? As my kids grow, I change the way I speak to them. I don't speak to Emily the same way I speak to Ally. Perhaps I'm moving to a different place with God and He's chosing to alter His delivery. I don't know fer sure. What I do know is that I am not studying Gods word the same way I used to as a pastor. I'm reading, but not studying, theres a big difference. God used to speak to me about a passage after I read it 100 times and meditated on it a day or so. Now I'm reading it devotionally and it's not the same...........God is faithful and we are only taking the first steps on this leg of the journey so I'm not overly anxious. By the way, I preached on Moses.
I'm sad because both the sox and pats lost tough games today. Amazing how that can affect your mood. I hope to be able to actually watch a game this year. Itll be a treat.
gotta run, well not really but time to move on for now....
grace & blessings......
Work has been going good, though it sometimes seems like I'm not doing a whole lot. I'll spend a good chunk of every day walking around and visiting soldiers and having small talk. It's all about establishing relationship and letting the troops know that they have a place they can go, even if they don't need to go there at the moment.
One thing I do need to do is to put a list of classes together to at least offer to the company commanders. I will put it out there and let them choose what they think will best help their soldiers. Some things on the list will be high-maintainance relationships, conflict, pornography, love languages (relationship issues are big here), and the morality of killing. I'm not quite ready to teach that class yet, but I feel it is an important issue for soldiers to wrestle with. I'm of the camp that believes that this unresolved issue produces much inner struggle (PTSD) in soldiers as they come home from war.
I also need to plan a marriage retreat and bible study and prayer breakfast. And also services while we are out "in the field" from Nov. 2-6.
Self-disclosure time: I'm kinda nervous about planning all the above. Not because I don't think I can do it or that I'll suck cause I know I won't. I'm nervous about planning something and having bad turnout, like no one showing up. That would seriously bum me out. I'm having flashbacks now........ Whatever, gotta do it anyway.
I preached this morning at the Killeen Salvation Army. I met the head officer this week at the garrison chaplains office and he invited me on the spot. It was a great experience and i was glad to be preaching again. I was rather unfocused and was less than stellar. I actually felt like I did not have a word from the Lord, which probably became evident. I prayed tonight that God would speak to me "like He used to". But now I'm like, was that a good prayer? As my kids grow, I change the way I speak to them. I don't speak to Emily the same way I speak to Ally. Perhaps I'm moving to a different place with God and He's chosing to alter His delivery. I don't know fer sure. What I do know is that I am not studying Gods word the same way I used to as a pastor. I'm reading, but not studying, theres a big difference. God used to speak to me about a passage after I read it 100 times and meditated on it a day or so. Now I'm reading it devotionally and it's not the same...........God is faithful and we are only taking the first steps on this leg of the journey so I'm not overly anxious. By the way, I preached on Moses.
I'm sad because both the sox and pats lost tough games today. Amazing how that can affect your mood. I hope to be able to actually watch a game this year. Itll be a treat.
gotta run, well not really but time to move on for now....
grace & blessings......
Saturday, September 26, 2009
notes on the first week
wow, a lot to say...one week of actual chaplain duty under my belt.
In an attempt to be low-key, I'm pretty encouraged. I felt very comfortable counseling the soldiers who came (a lot of marital stuff). I loved the chance to address the soldier formations (I did this twice). I endured the times where I had to just "butt-in" to soldiers hanging out and introduce myself to them.
But overall, I did a good job and have a number of ideas brewing about the future.
One of the cool things was that I was able to lead a soldier to rededicate his life to Christ on my second day there. It was so cool. At the end of the session, I told him that we should pray, but that I wanted him to pray. He was uncomfortable, but I did feel led by the Holy Spirit that this was an appropriate task.
On Friday, I addressed one of the companies before PT. tangent-----I am chaplain of the 2nd chemical battalion. The 2nd Chemical Battalion is about 800 soldiers. The battalion is divided into 7 "companies", all with an identifing number (where the number comes from I dunno): the 13th, the 46th, the 44th, the 172nd, the 181st, and HHD (headquarters). Each company has around 100 soldiers. The companies are divided up into platoons (abut 20 soldiers). And the platoons are divided up into squads. The army pretty much stole John Wesley's class system in organizing their soldiers. (I know thats not true, I can't even believe you thought I was serious..)
So I was addressing the HHD company before PT on Friday morning (6:30AM). tangent--My first day of PT we did a 4 mile run. I was unable to keep up with the main group and ran the last half by myself. The bright side is that I did finish and that I was not the first person to fall out. I'll do better and better as time goes on. On Friday I ran with the C group. We all had to finish together. There was one soldier who was HURTING about 1/4 of the way through and it really slowed us down, almost to a quick walk. So I was able to finish quite easily. The solider toughed it out and did finish, which was a major accomplishment for him cause he was really struggling. I did the chaplian thing after the run and went up and gave him a good pep talk.
So I was addressing the HHD company before PT on Friday morning. It was an opportunity for me to allow the soldiers to see me, more importantly, it gave me an opportunity to set the tome for my ministry among them. My words were very important cause this was to be my first impression. What I said had mixed reviews among the Souza family, but I think was recieved very well by the soldiers (after they got over the shock). I counseled one of the soldiers later on that day and he said he liked it a lot.
Well, ummm, I'm kinda sheepish writing this, but.....on the way to PT that morning, I was NOT even thinking of saying anything but as I was driving I realized that the run this morning was gonna be extra challenging because I did not fully umm, er, uh,....get rid of all my poop before I left. I.e., I was gonna be running while holding it in. I knew that I'd be focusing on that instead of the run and it was gonna effect my overall performance at PT. Than, the Holy Spirit put it all together and told me to share my lesson. We all have stuff that we are holding in...sometimes it is indeed in the stomach (or intestines, or whatever), but sometimes it is in the head or the heart. And we end up focusing on that instead of the mission we have been given. We're less effective and at risk of failing. In the army, failing mission is not an option cause that means people die. I went on to say that the answer can be as simple as "taking a dump" and I invited the soldiers to think of my office as a toilet where they could take take that dump. The soldiers were laughing. My hope was to disarm the soldiers in such a way that they felt comfortable around me. I outrank them all and there is always this distance between officers and soldiers. A good chaplain perfectly balances the line between the two. It's kinda like being in the world and not of it.
At the end of Friday, I did close out formation with the 44st company. I wasn't sure if I broke any rules or not, but I brought my entire family to the motor pool and lined them up before the soldiers. I told them that I bet that many of them thought that we had a perfect, squared away family. After all, my wife and kids are good looking, they seem well behaved and I am the chaplain and the chaplain MUST have everything ideal. I told them that that was not the case at all, and that we had problems and issues. To Keris dismay, I told them that we had a big fight the night before (true) and that there were even times that we had to find someone else to talk to cause we couldnt fix things ourselves. The point was that life is not about being perfect. It was about working on and working out your issues and, if need be, going for help when you needed it. I told them that I was here to serve and help them when they needed it. When I was done they all applauded and a 2lieutenant ran up to me and asked me for my number. It was cool. Then we went out to Mexican food with one of our neighbors. Her husband is currently in Iraq.
Much more I could write, like my dealings with a Wiccan soldier (and a Muslim one too). But I'm going to bed.
.....
In an attempt to be low-key, I'm pretty encouraged. I felt very comfortable counseling the soldiers who came (a lot of marital stuff). I loved the chance to address the soldier formations (I did this twice). I endured the times where I had to just "butt-in" to soldiers hanging out and introduce myself to them.
But overall, I did a good job and have a number of ideas brewing about the future.
One of the cool things was that I was able to lead a soldier to rededicate his life to Christ on my second day there. It was so cool. At the end of the session, I told him that we should pray, but that I wanted him to pray. He was uncomfortable, but I did feel led by the Holy Spirit that this was an appropriate task.
On Friday, I addressed one of the companies before PT. tangent-----I am chaplain of the 2nd chemical battalion. The 2nd Chemical Battalion is about 800 soldiers. The battalion is divided into 7 "companies", all with an identifing number (where the number comes from I dunno): the 13th, the 46th, the 44th, the 172nd, the 181st, and HHD (headquarters). Each company has around 100 soldiers. The companies are divided up into platoons (abut 20 soldiers). And the platoons are divided up into squads. The army pretty much stole John Wesley's class system in organizing their soldiers. (I know thats not true, I can't even believe you thought I was serious..)
So I was addressing the HHD company before PT on Friday morning (6:30AM). tangent--My first day of PT we did a 4 mile run. I was unable to keep up with the main group and ran the last half by myself. The bright side is that I did finish and that I was not the first person to fall out. I'll do better and better as time goes on. On Friday I ran with the C group. We all had to finish together. There was one soldier who was HURTING about 1/4 of the way through and it really slowed us down, almost to a quick walk. So I was able to finish quite easily. The solider toughed it out and did finish, which was a major accomplishment for him cause he was really struggling. I did the chaplian thing after the run and went up and gave him a good pep talk.
So I was addressing the HHD company before PT on Friday morning. It was an opportunity for me to allow the soldiers to see me, more importantly, it gave me an opportunity to set the tome for my ministry among them. My words were very important cause this was to be my first impression. What I said had mixed reviews among the Souza family, but I think was recieved very well by the soldiers (after they got over the shock). I counseled one of the soldiers later on that day and he said he liked it a lot.
Well, ummm, I'm kinda sheepish writing this, but.....on the way to PT that morning, I was NOT even thinking of saying anything but as I was driving I realized that the run this morning was gonna be extra challenging because I did not fully umm, er, uh,....get rid of all my poop before I left. I.e., I was gonna be running while holding it in. I knew that I'd be focusing on that instead of the run and it was gonna effect my overall performance at PT. Than, the Holy Spirit put it all together and told me to share my lesson. We all have stuff that we are holding in...sometimes it is indeed in the stomach (or intestines, or whatever), but sometimes it is in the head or the heart. And we end up focusing on that instead of the mission we have been given. We're less effective and at risk of failing. In the army, failing mission is not an option cause that means people die. I went on to say that the answer can be as simple as "taking a dump" and I invited the soldiers to think of my office as a toilet where they could take take that dump. The soldiers were laughing. My hope was to disarm the soldiers in such a way that they felt comfortable around me. I outrank them all and there is always this distance between officers and soldiers. A good chaplain perfectly balances the line between the two. It's kinda like being in the world and not of it.
At the end of Friday, I did close out formation with the 44st company. I wasn't sure if I broke any rules or not, but I brought my entire family to the motor pool and lined them up before the soldiers. I told them that I bet that many of them thought that we had a perfect, squared away family. After all, my wife and kids are good looking, they seem well behaved and I am the chaplain and the chaplain MUST have everything ideal. I told them that that was not the case at all, and that we had problems and issues. To Keris dismay, I told them that we had a big fight the night before (true) and that there were even times that we had to find someone else to talk to cause we couldnt fix things ourselves. The point was that life is not about being perfect. It was about working on and working out your issues and, if need be, going for help when you needed it. I told them that I was here to serve and help them when they needed it. When I was done they all applauded and a 2lieutenant ran up to me and asked me for my number. It was cool. Then we went out to Mexican food with one of our neighbors. Her husband is currently in Iraq.
Much more I could write, like my dealings with a Wiccan soldier (and a Muslim one too). But I'm going to bed.
.....
Monday, September 21, 2009
1st day on the job
After a week of moving in and getting used to these new digs, I finally had my first, somewhat, "official" day as an army chaplain. I think it went well. I was pretty nervous and insecure about my lack of military knowledge. It becomes evident in so many different places, in knowing how to do the stretches in PT (different here than in training), how to salute (again, different here than what I was taught), .......
Nonetheless, I do think today went well. I've already got a couple of soldiers I'm scheduled to connect with for counsel and I have three more I need to pursue tomorrow. I'm looking forward to those. I'm also doing a prayer at a change of command ceremony on Wednesday.
I spent some time in my office, which isn't the sexiest slice of the pie you could get but whatever....a little love and it'll have some character. The office will be the place I do a majority of my counseling, so I want it to be both disarming and comfortable. I'm sitting here wondering if Jesus would put pictures up if he had an office. I guess he'd hand a picture of mom. A pic of dad would be interesting. A pic of Jesus standing next to a bush on fire, with the caption underneath.... "me and dad"....
tangent...
I cannot believe the Pats lost yesterday. I was unable to watch it cause we didn't sign up for cable. Just glad I wasn't able to listen to WFAN and hear JETS fans gloat.....
I need to stop making the excuse of, "I'm brand new, so I don't know what I'm doing". It shows my insecurity. I did it to my command seargant major this afternoon. He was gracious but I don't think I left him with an "army strong" impression. Who knows. I do know that when the dust settles he'll be glad I'm on his team, I just want the learning curve to move quickly.
I was also issued a ton of army supplies today...helmet, battle armor and other stuff like that. I also went to the motor pool and saw my and my chaplains assitants vehicle this morning. My own humvee. Yipee,,,,,
Keri is now home from her ladies bible study. gotta run...
grace and blessings!!!
Nonetheless, I do think today went well. I've already got a couple of soldiers I'm scheduled to connect with for counsel and I have three more I need to pursue tomorrow. I'm looking forward to those. I'm also doing a prayer at a change of command ceremony on Wednesday.
I spent some time in my office, which isn't the sexiest slice of the pie you could get but whatever....a little love and it'll have some character. The office will be the place I do a majority of my counseling, so I want it to be both disarming and comfortable. I'm sitting here wondering if Jesus would put pictures up if he had an office. I guess he'd hand a picture of mom. A pic of dad would be interesting. A pic of Jesus standing next to a bush on fire, with the caption underneath.... "me and dad"....
tangent...
I cannot believe the Pats lost yesterday. I was unable to watch it cause we didn't sign up for cable. Just glad I wasn't able to listen to WFAN and hear JETS fans gloat.....
I need to stop making the excuse of, "I'm brand new, so I don't know what I'm doing". It shows my insecurity. I did it to my command seargant major this afternoon. He was gracious but I don't think I left him with an "army strong" impression. Who knows. I do know that when the dust settles he'll be glad I'm on his team, I just want the learning curve to move quickly.
I was also issued a ton of army supplies today...helmet, battle armor and other stuff like that. I also went to the motor pool and saw my and my chaplains assitants vehicle this morning. My own humvee. Yipee,,,,,
Keri is now home from her ladies bible study. gotta run...
grace and blessings!!!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
goodbye table saw :(
Some guy from El Paso just pulled out of my driveway with MY tablesaw and miter saw in the back of his pickup truck. For giggles I gave him my maul as well. I'm sad.
I used those things. Me and the maul spent more time together these past couple of years than me and my parents. I redid all the molding in the house with that miter saw. I thanked the Lord dozens of times as I cut a big piece of wood with that table saw.
And now they are gone. Kinda hit me that my life is different now. I do hope someday I will need them again....(daydream about retiring on a small farm...)
I spent this week driving around post (Fort Hood) having people initial a piece of paper called my inprocessing sheet. That enabled me to be an official Ft Hood soldier. Now that that is done, I have to do the same thing for the 2nd Chemical Batallion. This inprocessing helps me get all my documents in order as well as introduces me to some valuable army programs.
This week I met my chaplains assistant, my brigade chaplain, my "XO"--executive officer, and my "CO"--commanding officer. All seem cool and happy to see/meet me. This battalion has been without a chaplain for a while. I've also met a number of the soldiers. I have this week off and will start bright and early a week from Monday at PT.
Speaking of PT, I need to pick it up a bit. I've been slacking.
Our house is slowly coming along. We need to get rid of a ton of stuff (hence the table saw departure). Still living in an ocean of boxes which can be quite stressful. I did just hook up the wireless internet a few minutes ago--enabling me to sit outside here and watch the kids torment this humungous anthill outside my house.
Oh well, I'll try to take some pictures this week and in the future to give you an idea of what things look like here.
grace & blessings....
I used those things. Me and the maul spent more time together these past couple of years than me and my parents. I redid all the molding in the house with that miter saw. I thanked the Lord dozens of times as I cut a big piece of wood with that table saw.
And now they are gone. Kinda hit me that my life is different now. I do hope someday I will need them again....(daydream about retiring on a small farm...)
I spent this week driving around post (Fort Hood) having people initial a piece of paper called my inprocessing sheet. That enabled me to be an official Ft Hood soldier. Now that that is done, I have to do the same thing for the 2nd Chemical Batallion. This inprocessing helps me get all my documents in order as well as introduces me to some valuable army programs.
This week I met my chaplains assistant, my brigade chaplain, my "XO"--executive officer, and my "CO"--commanding officer. All seem cool and happy to see/meet me. This battalion has been without a chaplain for a while. I've also met a number of the soldiers. I have this week off and will start bright and early a week from Monday at PT.
Speaking of PT, I need to pick it up a bit. I've been slacking.
Our house is slowly coming along. We need to get rid of a ton of stuff (hence the table saw departure). Still living in an ocean of boxes which can be quite stressful. I did just hook up the wireless internet a few minutes ago--enabling me to sit outside here and watch the kids torment this humungous anthill outside my house.
Oh well, I'll try to take some pictures this week and in the future to give you an idea of what things look like here.
grace & blessings....
Monday, September 7, 2009
moving ft hood
well, we're here at fort hood....we have a house but our stuff isn't coming until Wed.. That means we've been living in an empty house since last week. Sleeping and eating off the floor (well, we do have plates).
I was so sore (and a little sick with the flu) I decided we needed to sleep in an in the night before I actually start my job (tomorrow). So I finally get to get on the internet, which I havent been able to do since early last week.
My last week at training (Ft Jackson, SC) was training in marriage and singles seminars. Also saying farewell to many great folks I've met here...and preparing for the big move. There are 1 gazillion things to consider when PCSing in the army (permanent change of stationing). Outprocessing from fort jackson and inprocessing into fort hood. This on top of reuniting with the family and dealing with the sale of our house.
The move to fort hood went well. We stayed in hotels across the south and our house was waiting for us when we got to fort hood. We are living in a 4 bedroom house that reminds us of our place on Shawnee Blvd. As a matter of fact, there is a Shawnee Ct. right down the road from us, which we found ironic.
We were somewhat depressed when we saw the house. The yard is as big as our deck on buckery rd. No pond, no woods, no barn. All those things we were so blessed with were gone. The rooms are good size but it looks so empty and does not feel like home.
Then we met the neighbors on our cul de sac and were happy to see that they all have young kids and were very friendly. Our next door neighbor is a blackhawk copter pilot and left for iraq on sunday morning. I spoke to him and his wife and they are very nice. He is from Erie. So the nice community helped us cope with the sadness of all those things we miss.
Fort Jackson (SC) was a smaller army post. Fort Hood is huge, the biggest base in the world. I'm adjusting to the big city feel as compared to the smaller town feel of fort jackson which I came to enjoy. Both Keri and I say that Fort hood has a "southern california" feel to it. Its flat and not a lot of trees. I love trees. I love the woods.
I am now chaplain of the 2nd chemical battalion. This is a fairly new group and it kinda seems like I've been given the task of planting a church. Most other battalions are attached to an existing chapel and have established systems and schedules. Not so with 2nd chem. My assistant, SPC Brown (from Wooster, OH) showed me our building. It got a lot of..ummm...potential. It's basically an old building they gave the unit ministry team. SPC Brown has worked hard to get it up to snuff, but theres a lot more work to do. SPC Brown seems very committed and capable and I am excited to be working with him.
My main job will be....walking around. Yep, pretty much I'll be assigned the task of simply showing up at different places so the soldiers can see and get to know me. I consider it practice for when I start my life in politics. It will be a good exercise of stepping outside my comfort zone. As I get to know the soldiers, I'll have a better feel of how I can best be used at 2nd chem. I'm hoping to eventually establish some bible studies and maybe even a chapel service.
Yesterday, we got the kids ready and went to a church on post. It was a traditional protestant service with readings out of the KJV and singing out of hymnals....and no child care. About 100 people in a building that easily seated 400. As I sat there I couldnt help thinking they should blow this service up and let me put a new one together. I was thinking why am I here? Than during the meet and greet an man greeted me and introduced himself as the deputy chaplian of the 3rd corps. He, Chaplain (LTC) Keith Goode, was the 2nd most important chaplain on Fort Hood and a definite big wig. He was very nice. What was very cool was that he has 10 kids and they homeschool. Keri used her homeschool radar and identified them as homeschoolers as soon as she saw them. He invited us over his house for dinner last night and had a blast. I sat in his house picking his brain (and probably talking too much) for a few hours. I could not believe I was only days at Fort Hood and breaking bread with #2 on the totem pole. The fact that they homeschool and have kids the same age as ours means there will be more encounters. God is setting me up for sucess. How cool is that!
It also means that we will probably go back to that church, which isn't that bad. I can offer to help them out in some ways. It was also cool to chat with an older woman whose deceased husband served a couple of tours in Vietnam. I was happy to let her know that he service to our country was appreciated. She found pride and meaning and comfort in my words. Please do the same to those you meet who have served or are serving our country.
Well, my kids are getting out of control, and we gotta sign out of here or we'll have to pay for another night. I must report in uniform at 0845 tomorrow.
I'm sorry for lack of posts this last week. I should get internet tomorrow (or wed) and that should get me back on track.
I bump into many people and things that remind me of the folks at Solid Rock and places in the Lehigh Valley. I'm leaving the Kings and Schnecksville True Value customer cards on my key ring to remind me of those places.
I was so sore (and a little sick with the flu) I decided we needed to sleep in an in the night before I actually start my job (tomorrow). So I finally get to get on the internet, which I havent been able to do since early last week.
My last week at training (Ft Jackson, SC) was training in marriage and singles seminars. Also saying farewell to many great folks I've met here...and preparing for the big move. There are 1 gazillion things to consider when PCSing in the army (permanent change of stationing). Outprocessing from fort jackson and inprocessing into fort hood. This on top of reuniting with the family and dealing with the sale of our house.
The move to fort hood went well. We stayed in hotels across the south and our house was waiting for us when we got to fort hood. We are living in a 4 bedroom house that reminds us of our place on Shawnee Blvd. As a matter of fact, there is a Shawnee Ct. right down the road from us, which we found ironic.
We were somewhat depressed when we saw the house. The yard is as big as our deck on buckery rd. No pond, no woods, no barn. All those things we were so blessed with were gone. The rooms are good size but it looks so empty and does not feel like home.
Then we met the neighbors on our cul de sac and were happy to see that they all have young kids and were very friendly. Our next door neighbor is a blackhawk copter pilot and left for iraq on sunday morning. I spoke to him and his wife and they are very nice. He is from Erie. So the nice community helped us cope with the sadness of all those things we miss.
Fort Jackson (SC) was a smaller army post. Fort Hood is huge, the biggest base in the world. I'm adjusting to the big city feel as compared to the smaller town feel of fort jackson which I came to enjoy. Both Keri and I say that Fort hood has a "southern california" feel to it. Its flat and not a lot of trees. I love trees. I love the woods.
I am now chaplain of the 2nd chemical battalion. This is a fairly new group and it kinda seems like I've been given the task of planting a church. Most other battalions are attached to an existing chapel and have established systems and schedules. Not so with 2nd chem. My assistant, SPC Brown (from Wooster, OH) showed me our building. It got a lot of..ummm...potential. It's basically an old building they gave the unit ministry team. SPC Brown has worked hard to get it up to snuff, but theres a lot more work to do. SPC Brown seems very committed and capable and I am excited to be working with him.
My main job will be....walking around. Yep, pretty much I'll be assigned the task of simply showing up at different places so the soldiers can see and get to know me. I consider it practice for when I start my life in politics. It will be a good exercise of stepping outside my comfort zone. As I get to know the soldiers, I'll have a better feel of how I can best be used at 2nd chem. I'm hoping to eventually establish some bible studies and maybe even a chapel service.
Yesterday, we got the kids ready and went to a church on post. It was a traditional protestant service with readings out of the KJV and singing out of hymnals....and no child care. About 100 people in a building that easily seated 400. As I sat there I couldnt help thinking they should blow this service up and let me put a new one together. I was thinking why am I here? Than during the meet and greet an man greeted me and introduced himself as the deputy chaplian of the 3rd corps. He, Chaplain (LTC) Keith Goode, was the 2nd most important chaplain on Fort Hood and a definite big wig. He was very nice. What was very cool was that he has 10 kids and they homeschool. Keri used her homeschool radar and identified them as homeschoolers as soon as she saw them. He invited us over his house for dinner last night and had a blast. I sat in his house picking his brain (and probably talking too much) for a few hours. I could not believe I was only days at Fort Hood and breaking bread with #2 on the totem pole. The fact that they homeschool and have kids the same age as ours means there will be more encounters. God is setting me up for sucess. How cool is that!
It also means that we will probably go back to that church, which isn't that bad. I can offer to help them out in some ways. It was also cool to chat with an older woman whose deceased husband served a couple of tours in Vietnam. I was happy to let her know that he service to our country was appreciated. She found pride and meaning and comfort in my words. Please do the same to those you meet who have served or are serving our country.
Well, my kids are getting out of control, and we gotta sign out of here or we'll have to pay for another night. I must report in uniform at 0845 tomorrow.
I'm sorry for lack of posts this last week. I should get internet tomorrow (or wed) and that should get me back on track.
I bump into many people and things that remind me of the folks at Solid Rock and places in the Lehigh Valley. I'm leaving the Kings and Schnecksville True Value customer cards on my key ring to remind me of those places.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
conscientious objector
have a class on it tomorrow....chaplains don't decide, but they do advise commanders on this matter. It's 9PM and I just realized I have to bring in an assignment for tomorrow. sigh...fortunately it's not very big...
Stupid me gorged on barbecue tonight and I have to run hard tomorrow. I'm hurting right now. Tomorrow around 6:40 I will be hurting way worse. I knew what I was doing.......
Keri and kids are leaving on Thursday. It will be weird for them to go. It will signify an end of sorts to our time in the Lehigh Valley. I'm tempted to wax poetic but I need to do devos with the kids on Skype.
Please join us in prayer that we sell the house SOON!
Stupid me gorged on barbecue tonight and I have to run hard tomorrow. I'm hurting right now. Tomorrow around 6:40 I will be hurting way worse. I knew what I was doing.......
Keri and kids are leaving on Thursday. It will be weird for them to go. It will signify an end of sorts to our time in the Lehigh Valley. I'm tempted to wax poetic but I need to do devos with the kids on Skype.
Please join us in prayer that we sell the house SOON!
the homestretch
Much to catch up on. It has been a while. I spent most of this week "in the field" at a simulated Iraqui army base, so I wasn't here to type anything. I've got some time this morning so I'll try to catch up.
First of all, we are beginning to finish things here. I've got family wellness seminars and a seminar in "How to Choose the right mate" the next two weeks, after that I am done. A short time ago, we went through a healthy marriage seminar called "Prep". This is a very popular and effective retreat-style seminar. The focus was....as you can imagine....communication. It was very well put together and I am now licensed to conduct the seminars. One thing that greatly encouraged me was that much of the material we went over was stuff that I do in my pre-marital counseling sessions. Nice to know that Phds and researchers confirm the stuff I taught. Those who I married: go back and look at your yellow book!
Another thing about the PREP seminar: it further confirmed that God is calling me to become a family life chaplain. Senior chaplains can have a few areas of emphasis: world religions, ethics, adminstration, hospital, family life. I want Family life...with prison as my second choice. Prison ministry, that is, not like me going to prison :).
The three days in the field were tiring but cool. It was hot! We did a lot of stuff the chaplain would do. Ministry to wounded and dying, memorial services, briefing commander, putting together a plan of action, counseling soldiers. And a lot of walking around......
Really, a lot of my job is simply gonna be walking around......making contact with soldiers...being at the mess hall for lunch, at the motor pool, the barracks...creating contacts.
It was good to see many of you last week at Solid Rock. I surprized Keri on friday night. She was shocked! Herbie drove me from the airport to my house and I went in my garage and called Keri from there. I asked her to check on something in the garage and was there when she came out. She screamed.
Sunday night, on the way home, we arrived at the airport and checked in for my flight a 645pm. They told me the flight was delayed and now leaving at 820pm. OK, thats fine, I would still be able to make my connecting flight. So I called Keri, she turned the van around and we had a dinner at the Bethlehem diner. I got back to the airport at 730 (for the 820 flight), and they told me that the plane was gone, that they left earlier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And...there were no other flights going out that night. I had a full Army day that Monday and now I wasn't gonna get there until 3PM. I was only a little upset. :) So I called Keri once again and she had to turn around once again and pick me up. Yes, it was another night with the family, but I was too stressed to enjoy it!
Thats enough for now...I want to write an email for USair and see what I can get for my greif. I also gotta start thinking about church.
I promise to write more this afternoon!!!!!
pjim
First of all, we are beginning to finish things here. I've got family wellness seminars and a seminar in "How to Choose the right mate" the next two weeks, after that I am done. A short time ago, we went through a healthy marriage seminar called "Prep". This is a very popular and effective retreat-style seminar. The focus was....as you can imagine....communication. It was very well put together and I am now licensed to conduct the seminars. One thing that greatly encouraged me was that much of the material we went over was stuff that I do in my pre-marital counseling sessions. Nice to know that Phds and researchers confirm the stuff I taught. Those who I married: go back and look at your yellow book!
Another thing about the PREP seminar: it further confirmed that God is calling me to become a family life chaplain. Senior chaplains can have a few areas of emphasis: world religions, ethics, adminstration, hospital, family life. I want Family life...with prison as my second choice. Prison ministry, that is, not like me going to prison :).
The three days in the field were tiring but cool. It was hot! We did a lot of stuff the chaplain would do. Ministry to wounded and dying, memorial services, briefing commander, putting together a plan of action, counseling soldiers. And a lot of walking around......
Really, a lot of my job is simply gonna be walking around......making contact with soldiers...being at the mess hall for lunch, at the motor pool, the barracks...creating contacts.
It was good to see many of you last week at Solid Rock. I surprized Keri on friday night. She was shocked! Herbie drove me from the airport to my house and I went in my garage and called Keri from there. I asked her to check on something in the garage and was there when she came out. She screamed.
Sunday night, on the way home, we arrived at the airport and checked in for my flight a 645pm. They told me the flight was delayed and now leaving at 820pm. OK, thats fine, I would still be able to make my connecting flight. So I called Keri, she turned the van around and we had a dinner at the Bethlehem diner. I got back to the airport at 730 (for the 820 flight), and they told me that the plane was gone, that they left earlier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And...there were no other flights going out that night. I had a full Army day that Monday and now I wasn't gonna get there until 3PM. I was only a little upset. :) So I called Keri once again and she had to turn around once again and pick me up. Yes, it was another night with the family, but I was too stressed to enjoy it!
Thats enough for now...I want to write an email for USair and see what I can get for my greif. I also gotta start thinking about church.
I promise to write more this afternoon!!!!!
pjim
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
twins! battlemind
My bro' and his wife has twins today! Congrats Joe and Stacey and welcome Jackson and Jordan to the family. Good job.
As they were being born, I was fighting to stay awake during a seminar on "Battlemind". It was a great seminar, I was just wiped out from waking up so early and doing PT. For PT we did variations of pushups and situps. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. You can put your body in whatever position you want, but when both hands are on the ground and you are pushing up, it's a pushup. Our rest time in between exercises is the overhead arm clap, which is a jumping jack without the jumping part. So I guess it's just a jack. Anyways, sounds easy right? Try doing 50 of them, then doing 25 pushups and have to do 50 more. I found it funny when the sgt. looked at a chaplain and said, "you like tired, get some rest". Of course that meant that he had more arm claps. Funnier now, after a while they really begin to ache.
More of the same tomorrow. Hoo-ah!
Back to the battlemind seminar. Battlemind pertains to the emotional and mental challenges a soldier faces while deployed (in combat) and coming home from deployment. What is appropriate behavior in combat is not at home, and many soldiers struggle with the adjustment. This isn't simply PTSD but existing in two separate worlds. For example, when I was in germansville, I had little reaction when I heard a gun fired. You react differently to loud booms when you are "down range" (in combat). So much more I could say, there is a battlemind website that seems really interesting.
Sometimes I'm like "what in the world have I gotten myself into?" There seems to be endless and insurmountable struggles for these soldiers and I'm dragging my family into the middle of it all! But our God points out a young soldier walking in the distance, and I find clarity.
God is faithful!
As they were being born, I was fighting to stay awake during a seminar on "Battlemind". It was a great seminar, I was just wiped out from waking up so early and doing PT. For PT we did variations of pushups and situps. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. You can put your body in whatever position you want, but when both hands are on the ground and you are pushing up, it's a pushup. Our rest time in between exercises is the overhead arm clap, which is a jumping jack without the jumping part. So I guess it's just a jack. Anyways, sounds easy right? Try doing 50 of them, then doing 25 pushups and have to do 50 more. I found it funny when the sgt. looked at a chaplain and said, "you like tired, get some rest". Of course that meant that he had more arm claps. Funnier now, after a while they really begin to ache.
More of the same tomorrow. Hoo-ah!
Back to the battlemind seminar. Battlemind pertains to the emotional and mental challenges a soldier faces while deployed (in combat) and coming home from deployment. What is appropriate behavior in combat is not at home, and many soldiers struggle with the adjustment. This isn't simply PTSD but existing in two separate worlds. For example, when I was in germansville, I had little reaction when I heard a gun fired. You react differently to loud booms when you are "down range" (in combat). So much more I could say, there is a battlemind website that seems really interesting.
Sometimes I'm like "what in the world have I gotten myself into?" There seems to be endless and insurmountable struggles for these soldiers and I'm dragging my family into the middle of it all! But our God points out a young soldier walking in the distance, and I find clarity.
God is faithful!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
killing paper
for those who might be interested--its a draft of my paper on killing--remember, only a draft (for those not interested--see below for update post)
Souza, James, M.
2nd platoon/4th squad
July 2009
On the ethics of killing
Two weeks after 9-11, I preached a sermon titled “Is it OK for President Bush to want to kill Osama Bin Laden?” My bottom line up front was, “it depends”. The preparation for that sermon has since influenced my theology about killing. As I prepare for the chaplaincy, I now realize that those convictions regarding Bush and bin-Laden also address the issue of soldier killing in combat.
I believe those convictions will help me as a chaplain in preparing soldiers to face the ethical dilemma of killing another human being. They will also assist in helping soldiers who have already killed process their actions and ultimately find peace.
I argue that combat killing can be justified based upon the biblical principle of stewardship. The key text is Romans 12: 17- 13:5.
A practical example of justification by stewardship:
One situation where most believe it is moral and ethical to kill is where a father acts to save the lives of his children. If an armed monster entered my house and I concluded that my children’s lives were in danger, I would kill the intruder without entering into a moral dilemma. Why? Because I am the protector of my children.
From the Free-Methodist (my endorser) perspective, all children ultimately belong to God, who, in turn, entrusts parents to raise them. Parents are stewards of their children, and God holds them responsible for their children’s welfare and upbringing. The principle of stewardship demands that the father act by any means necessary to protect his children. . . . If only it were that simple. The motivation that undergirds such action by any means necessary creates an important distinction between ethical and unethical killing, for the bible clearly instructs Christians “not to repay evil for evil” (Rom 12:17) and to “overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). Regarding the intruder, a father’s actions should not be vengeful. His actions are not based on feelings of anger or hatred for the intruder. Such actions would violate the above cited scriptures and constitute sin. In fact, the fathers thoughts should not on the intruder at all, they should rest solely on the welfare of his children. It is the difference between, “I’m protecting them” vs. “I’m killing him”. Thus, the act is stewardship based (dutiful) and not revenge based (personal).
David Grossman uses the metaphors of sheepdog and wolf to communicate the same message. The sheepdog kills to protect (dutiful) and the wolf kills to fulfill its own desires (personal). The acts are the same (killing) but the motivation behind each places them in a different ethical category. The sheepdog is noble while the wolf is depraved.
The bigger picture:
The idea of justifiable combat killing is a macro example of the above example. In Romans 13, the Apostle Paul states that governments are given authority by God, ordained to be “agent(s) of wrath” and bearers of “the sword”. The argument here is that governments are given the responsibility of stewardship over its citizens in much the same way fathers are given stewardship over their children.
In my 9-11 sermon, I argued that President Bush would be justified in wanting to kill bin-Laden if, as the God-appointed steward of the American people, he felt compelled to act on behalf of their safety. On the other hand, if Bush sought to kill bin-Laden based on feelings of outrage by the actions of 9-11, he would find no justification before God who commands us “not to repay evil for evil”. The bottom line, as it always seems to be in the Christian tradition, lies in the condition of one’s heart.
I believe the same principle holds for soldiers in combat. As soldiers, they are an extension of the President. Thus, they serve as our nation as stewards, protecting the American people as called upon by those to whom God has given authority. If the task of killing is approached this vein, it is justifiable. Soldiers kill the enemy as a means of protecting those people he/she has been appointed by God to protect. But, if in combat, the soldier kills the enemy out of outrage and desire to personally exact revenge, his/her actions cannot be justified. At this point the soldier would need counsel about grace and redemption.
Where the rubber hits the road:
Using Afghanistan as a relevant example, this argument would emphasize the rhetoric and past actions of the Taliban and Al-Qaeda. 9-11 reminds us that these groups pose a threat to every citizen of the United States. Presidents Bush and Obama, acting as God-appointed stewards, have decreed that military action must be taken in an effort to protect Americans. Soldiers carry out this protection by meeting Taliban and Al-Qaeda soldiers in combat, often resulting in death. The soldier is acting in the role of the sheepdog.
Conclusion:
There is no doubt that the line drawn here is unclear. Surely some level of anger is evident in every soldier during combat. How much anger is too much? At what point does the soldier cross the line from steward to personal? While all these questions are valid, I still believe that this perspective provides a solid foundation that would make sense to the soldier and provide clarity within the inherent tension involved with combat killing.
on killing and other things like 80's star wrestlers
Sorry for the gap in posts. Part of it is that they are keeping us longer every day. Part of it was that I was on duty platoon, which kept us even longer (duty platoon cleans up at the end of the day), part of it was that I was tired, and part of it was the hours I spent on Skype talking to Keri and the kids
All I have to say is that I love Skype!
But here I am on Saturday night--able to sleep in tomorrow. Yipee
A lot to update. I'm still praying and thinking about Al Barnes. Mitch is doing a great job with the updates...Keri and the kids have been sick all this week. Facing that alone is difficult enough, Keri has been doing it AS WELL AS getting the house ready for showings. I've concluded that my wife is the:
Well, I hope Keri receives that in the manner in which it was intended to be received. I guess there are multiple interpretations to something like that.
Anyways, I worked pretty much all day on a paper about killing. Specifically, the morality of killing. If you are a soldier, it is something you've got to deal with. As harsh as it sounds, it pretty much sums up their purpose. The Army is excellent at preparing soldiers to kill, but not as good in preparing soldiers to deal with it afterwards. We are not wired to find pleasure in blowing another human up and many, many (most) soldiers suffer fallout from combat stress and the dissonance of killing. This is where the chaplain comes in.
My paper today was about the morality of killing. When is it right, when is it not. It is a difficult concept to wrap your arms around for sure. It will be something I need to get settled right now, cause I'll be dealing with it. Perhaps I'll post the paper.
Also have had a lot of counseling classes, which I like. I hope to eventually become what the Army calls the family life chaplain. The Lord has impressed upon my heart the need for stronger families in the Army.
And I passed the physical training test on Monday. I needed a 180 and scored a 229. 45 pushups (could have done more but made a tactical error and lost a minute of time)...59 situps and 2 miles in 16:20. Not bad for starting training in late February. I really feel like I have so much more room to improve.
2 days after the PT test I went to the clinic and was diangnosed with achilles tendonitis in both feet. They get really sore after a hard workout and I end up limping for days so they want me to rest, ice and stretch them. I've forgotten what it is like to run without pain. Now that I think of it, I always found running painful....but this is, like real pain, not "I don't feel like doing this" pain. There is a difference.
Only like a month to go before I'm with my family, off to Texas, and really doing chaplain work. Once I get the Army stuff figured out, I think I will enjoy the ministry tremendously.
thanks for reading. I treasure more and more the people and events that shaped my present.
God is faithful!
All I have to say is that I love Skype!
But here I am on Saturday night--able to sleep in tomorrow. Yipee
A lot to update. I'm still praying and thinking about Al Barnes. Mitch is doing a great job with the updates...Keri and the kids have been sick all this week. Facing that alone is difficult enough, Keri has been doing it AS WELL AS getting the house ready for showings. I've concluded that my wife is the:
Well, I hope Keri receives that in the manner in which it was intended to be received. I guess there are multiple interpretations to something like that.
Anyways, I worked pretty much all day on a paper about killing. Specifically, the morality of killing. If you are a soldier, it is something you've got to deal with. As harsh as it sounds, it pretty much sums up their purpose. The Army is excellent at preparing soldiers to kill, but not as good in preparing soldiers to deal with it afterwards. We are not wired to find pleasure in blowing another human up and many, many (most) soldiers suffer fallout from combat stress and the dissonance of killing. This is where the chaplain comes in.
My paper today was about the morality of killing. When is it right, when is it not. It is a difficult concept to wrap your arms around for sure. It will be something I need to get settled right now, cause I'll be dealing with it. Perhaps I'll post the paper.
Also have had a lot of counseling classes, which I like. I hope to eventually become what the Army calls the family life chaplain. The Lord has impressed upon my heart the need for stronger families in the Army.
And I passed the physical training test on Monday. I needed a 180 and scored a 229. 45 pushups (could have done more but made a tactical error and lost a minute of time)...59 situps and 2 miles in 16:20. Not bad for starting training in late February. I really feel like I have so much more room to improve.
2 days after the PT test I went to the clinic and was diangnosed with achilles tendonitis in both feet. They get really sore after a hard workout and I end up limping for days so they want me to rest, ice and stretch them. I've forgotten what it is like to run without pain. Now that I think of it, I always found running painful....but this is, like real pain, not "I don't feel like doing this" pain. There is a difference.
Only like a month to go before I'm with my family, off to Texas, and really doing chaplain work. Once I get the Army stuff figured out, I think I will enjoy the ministry tremendously.
thanks for reading. I treasure more and more the people and events that shaped my present.
God is faithful!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
pics and update
The pic on the left was taken after our group completed the obstacle course a few weeks ago. It was a tough run! We called ourselves the "Old-Timers" cause most of us were 40+. The pic on the right was taken at Fort Sumter. It is my squad--2nd platoon, 4th squad. The guy to my left is going to Fort Hood with me after training. He also attended Asbury Seminary, which is cool.Tomorrow we have a PT diagnostic test. Push-ups, sit-ups, 2 mile run. Starts at 5AM. I'm gonna stretch my legs today and eat light. After that, another weeks worth of classes. We're hitting the time now where I need to start planning the move to Fort Hood. A lot to consider on top of an already full schedule.
I am continuing to believe that our God will do His redemptive work through Al Barnes' accident. I am so encouraged to hear all the good reports about Al's progress. I prayed a lot with that guy, he knows who is in charge.
Went to an 8AM service this morning, would love to lie on the bed and fall asleep for a few hours.
grace & blessings!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
not exactly basic training
I'm imagining that many held the impression that I was off to typical basic training. Far from it.
Not sure if I've gotten into this yet, but as things stand right now, this is more like college than basic. My day typically begins with waking up at 4:45 to prepare for the days first activity: Physical Training from 6-7AM. M-W-F are running days; Tu-Th are muscle failure days (endless pushups and situps). After that we can go back to our rooms to shower and report back to the classroom by 8:30. From 8:30 to 11 we have classes. From 11- 11:45 we have preaching lab. I already did both of my sermons so I can just sit back and observe for the rest of the time. Lunch (back to my room) from 12-1, and then more classes from 1-4. Usually there is some info and mail call at 4, so we end up finishing at like 4:30. Than we're done for the day. Of course, theres lots of homework.
Sometimes we do different stuff like Victory Tower or the obstacle course, this Tuesday we're going to Fort Sumter....but the usual day is what I describe above. Weekends are free unless your're loaded with homework, which is normal.
It's busy, but nothing like Basic training. No barracks, no drill seargants, no Army food. Actually, I've only eaten in an Army mess hall once. Other than that, it is "make your own". My room is more like a hotel room...with internet, cable, continental b'fast, and a little kitchenette. Today I invited the rest of my platoon over to grill some food and maybe play volleyball. I have a ribeye sitting in my fridge.
And for the most part, we're treated like professionals. But at the same time, we are expected to act like them and when we don't, we're put in our place. Doesn't happen a lot.
Tomorrow we will be going over how to do a RAMP service. That's the service when caskets of dead soldiers are loaded onto an aircraft to be flown home. Sobering, but certainly something I'll end up having to do.
OK, time to get ready for church.......
grace & blessings
Not sure if I've gotten into this yet, but as things stand right now, this is more like college than basic. My day typically begins with waking up at 4:45 to prepare for the days first activity: Physical Training from 6-7AM. M-W-F are running days; Tu-Th are muscle failure days (endless pushups and situps). After that we can go back to our rooms to shower and report back to the classroom by 8:30. From 8:30 to 11 we have classes. From 11- 11:45 we have preaching lab. I already did both of my sermons so I can just sit back and observe for the rest of the time. Lunch (back to my room) from 12-1, and then more classes from 1-4. Usually there is some info and mail call at 4, so we end up finishing at like 4:30. Than we're done for the day. Of course, theres lots of homework.
Sometimes we do different stuff like Victory Tower or the obstacle course, this Tuesday we're going to Fort Sumter....but the usual day is what I describe above. Weekends are free unless your're loaded with homework, which is normal.
It's busy, but nothing like Basic training. No barracks, no drill seargants, no Army food. Actually, I've only eaten in an Army mess hall once. Other than that, it is "make your own". My room is more like a hotel room...with internet, cable, continental b'fast, and a little kitchenette. Today I invited the rest of my platoon over to grill some food and maybe play volleyball. I have a ribeye sitting in my fridge.
And for the most part, we're treated like professionals. But at the same time, we are expected to act like them and when we don't, we're put in our place. Doesn't happen a lot.
Tomorrow we will be going over how to do a RAMP service. That's the service when caskets of dead soldiers are loaded onto an aircraft to be flown home. Sobering, but certainly something I'll end up having to do.
OK, time to get ready for church.......
grace & blessings
Saturday, July 11, 2009
a sobering realization
I watched about 1/2 an hour of a war movie last night. Not sure what it was, but Nicholas Cage was in it. As I sat on my bed taking in the combat scenes, I came to the stark realization that I'll never be able to casually watch a war movie like I used to.
Before, the blood and guts...and death, was entertainment. When the movie was over, so was the entire experience. I went on with my life without any thought. But as I watched Nicholas Cage die last night, it hit me that he was somebody, somebody with a wife and kids, somebody beyond a soldier on the battlefield. His wife and kids would never see him again. Someone (likely a chaplain) would be given the sobering task of visiting the family and telling them the news. Hard.
I've witnessed thousands of on-screen deaths in my many years of watching tv/movies. In the 1/2 hour I watched last night, dozens of men were killed. I began noticing even when the bad guys took bullets. I've become desensitized to this whole war/death thing, but it is real. A moment on the battlefield translates to a lifetime without a husband or daddy for so many.
A classic line from M*A*S*H came when Henry Blake was counseling Hawkeye over the death of a soldier. Blake said these words, which I've never forgotten: "rule number one of war is that young men die. Rule number two is that doctors cannot change rule number one."
Here is the business to which God has called me. God equips those He calls and I desire to be a willing servant.
praying for peace
pjim
Before, the blood and guts...and death, was entertainment. When the movie was over, so was the entire experience. I went on with my life without any thought. But as I watched Nicholas Cage die last night, it hit me that he was somebody, somebody with a wife and kids, somebody beyond a soldier on the battlefield. His wife and kids would never see him again. Someone (likely a chaplain) would be given the sobering task of visiting the family and telling them the news. Hard.
I've witnessed thousands of on-screen deaths in my many years of watching tv/movies. In the 1/2 hour I watched last night, dozens of men were killed. I began noticing even when the bad guys took bullets. I've become desensitized to this whole war/death thing, but it is real. A moment on the battlefield translates to a lifetime without a husband or daddy for so many.
A classic line from M*A*S*H came when Henry Blake was counseling Hawkeye over the death of a soldier. Blake said these words, which I've never forgotten: "rule number one of war is that young men die. Rule number two is that doctors cannot change rule number one."
Here is the business to which God has called me. God equips those He calls and I desire to be a willing servant.
praying for peace
pjim
Monday, July 6, 2009
a night in the airport
With the 4th of July, I was able to enjoy a brief visit to Buckery Rd. It was eventful and relaxing and sooooo great to be with Keri and the kids. Because of the brevity of the stay, we kept hush about it.
I was supposed to land in beloved Allentown late Thursday night. The plan was to have Keri pick me up and we'd spend the night in a hotel and do breakfast in the morning. Sounds great, right? Well the flight from SC to Washington DC was delayed, causing me to miss my flight to Allentown, causing me to end up spending the night in the Washington/Dulles Airport. In the midst of great disappointment, I realized that spending the night in an airport is an experience everyone should endure, so I dealt with it. I looked for a place that would have a lot of traffic (for safety reasons) and lots of chairs (for space reasons). I settled in the international flights baggage area. I was in and out of sleep all night and dreamed that one of the Chaplain instructors asked the class to name the greatest Negro leaguers from every position, a task I handled with ease. At 5AM, I decided to give up on sleeping and bought a cup of coffee.
Coming home was great and weird. Seeing my family made me so happy. Derrick said it best as we were on the couch talking. "It's like you never left dad". I made an effort to talk to everyone of them and give them their fathers blessing. Me Derrick and Emily had a great soccer game and I also got to run with Keri on Saturday morning!
I also got to spend time working on the lawn mower, which is broke. Joel came over Saturday and HOPEFULLY will get the thing working soon. It was good to see him.
Leaving was painful. We made it very quick, another minute and we'd of all been bawling.
So I've got just under 2 more months of training and then it is off to Fort Hood. I think I will enjoy the challenges of being a chaplain. As I grow more accustomed to Army etiquette, I will also enjoy the army life as well.
God is faithful. I've been reading through the gospel of Mark (a little at a time) this past month and I'm struck by the heart Jesus had for the hard-luck, outcast, low-man-on-the-totem-pole. Means that there is always hope for me.
Well, it's 9PM--gotta hit the sack...............
Here are my negro league all stars, with pride:
C=Josh Gibson
1b=Buck Leonard
2b=Bingo DeMoss (the hardest choice)
3b=Ray Dandridge
SS=Pop Lloyd
LF=Cool Papa Bell
CF=Oscar Charleston
RF=Christian Torriente
P=Bill Foster, Bullet Joe Rogan
(I selected only players who did not play in the majors, hence no Jackie Robinson)
I was supposed to land in beloved Allentown late Thursday night. The plan was to have Keri pick me up and we'd spend the night in a hotel and do breakfast in the morning. Sounds great, right? Well the flight from SC to Washington DC was delayed, causing me to miss my flight to Allentown, causing me to end up spending the night in the Washington/Dulles Airport. In the midst of great disappointment, I realized that spending the night in an airport is an experience everyone should endure, so I dealt with it. I looked for a place that would have a lot of traffic (for safety reasons) and lots of chairs (for space reasons). I settled in the international flights baggage area. I was in and out of sleep all night and dreamed that one of the Chaplain instructors asked the class to name the greatest Negro leaguers from every position, a task I handled with ease. At 5AM, I decided to give up on sleeping and bought a cup of coffee.
Coming home was great and weird. Seeing my family made me so happy. Derrick said it best as we were on the couch talking. "It's like you never left dad". I made an effort to talk to everyone of them and give them their fathers blessing. Me Derrick and Emily had a great soccer game and I also got to run with Keri on Saturday morning!
I also got to spend time working on the lawn mower, which is broke. Joel came over Saturday and HOPEFULLY will get the thing working soon. It was good to see him.
Leaving was painful. We made it very quick, another minute and we'd of all been bawling.
So I've got just under 2 more months of training and then it is off to Fort Hood. I think I will enjoy the challenges of being a chaplain. As I grow more accustomed to Army etiquette, I will also enjoy the army life as well.
God is faithful. I've been reading through the gospel of Mark (a little at a time) this past month and I'm struck by the heart Jesus had for the hard-luck, outcast, low-man-on-the-totem-pole. Means that there is always hope for me.
Well, it's 9PM--gotta hit the sack...............
Here are my negro league all stars, with pride:
C=Josh Gibson
1b=Buck Leonard
2b=Bingo DeMoss (the hardest choice)
3b=Ray Dandridge
SS=Pop Lloyd
LF=Cool Papa Bell
CF=Oscar Charleston
RF=Christian Torriente
P=Bill Foster, Bullet Joe Rogan
(I selected only players who did not play in the majors, hence no Jackie Robinson)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
some pics
here are some picsone is me and a greek orthodox chaplain in my squad from New York...another of a guy fast asleep during break...and me and my beret
CH-BOLC, phase 1
Monday began "phase 1" of my training. It is actually the second phase (of four), but some high up colonel thought it prudent to call the second part "phase 1".
A lot of academic/philosophical stuff being thrown at us: ethics/just war theory/killing. I like the stuff I'm reading and reflecting on. One of the chaplain teachers told us that he had a soldier come to him and tell him that he (the soldier) was standing lookout while a bunch of other soldiers...well....ummm......a 14 year old girl (fill in the blanks). He told the chaplain that he was unable to sleep at night and wanted to know what he should do. Heavy duty stuff. While I can't say I'm looking forward to stuff like that, I'm feeling ready to serve (or maybe willing is a better word).
My biggest fear is not knowing Army culture and offending my future commanding officer because I filled out a report wrong or saluted the wrong way or something like that. I haven't yet, but I am going to start praying for my future CO and staff and soldiers.
More than a few times I've been told that Fort Hood (where we're going after this) is a base that sees a lot of deployments. I've talked with Keri about the likelihood of me seeing the middle east at some point in 2010. Can't say we're eager, but we knew this going in and there is peace. Me going to Afghanistan...wow.
Tomorrow we are doing a group obstacle course. A nice departure from all the classes. I'm looking forward to it as my achilles feels sore, but better.
I received a call from a guy I used to see at the prison bible studies back in Allentown. It was weird talking to him, like going back in time.
I'm gonna post some pics right after I post this....
grace & blessings...............
A lot of academic/philosophical stuff being thrown at us: ethics/just war theory/killing. I like the stuff I'm reading and reflecting on. One of the chaplain teachers told us that he had a soldier come to him and tell him that he (the soldier) was standing lookout while a bunch of other soldiers...well....ummm......a 14 year old girl (fill in the blanks). He told the chaplain that he was unable to sleep at night and wanted to know what he should do. Heavy duty stuff. While I can't say I'm looking forward to stuff like that, I'm feeling ready to serve (or maybe willing is a better word).
My biggest fear is not knowing Army culture and offending my future commanding officer because I filled out a report wrong or saluted the wrong way or something like that. I haven't yet, but I am going to start praying for my future CO and staff and soldiers.
More than a few times I've been told that Fort Hood (where we're going after this) is a base that sees a lot of deployments. I've talked with Keri about the likelihood of me seeing the middle east at some point in 2010. Can't say we're eager, but we knew this going in and there is peace. Me going to Afghanistan...wow.
Tomorrow we are doing a group obstacle course. A nice departure from all the classes. I'm looking forward to it as my achilles feels sore, but better.
I received a call from a guy I used to see at the prison bible studies back in Allentown. It was weird talking to him, like going back in time.
I'm gonna post some pics right after I post this....
grace & blessings...............
Thursday, June 25, 2009
the beret
Tomorrow is the end of the first part of our training. One of the rewards of completing this first month is that we get to wear the army beret instead of the cap.
The beret is ridiculous. First of all, you've got to literally shave the thing to get all the black fuzzies off. Then you have to wet it down and spend hours to get it shaped to your head. It is quite the pain in the butt and I still don't have it looking right, which means I'll be looking like a fool tomorrow.
Whatever........
The other great reward is tomorrow we are done at noon. This is big. I preached on Tuesday and Wednesday this week and was up to like midnight the night before preparing. Not fun when you are waking up at 4:45 AM. I was pleased with each sermon. It was good to finally be doing something I was comfortable doing. It has been drilled into us that the Chief of Chaplains thinks the current state of Army preaching is poor. That gives me some hope. I still feel overwhelmed with the learning curve, but I am always that way in the beginning of a new adventure.
With a light weekend coming up, I'll be sure to get some more posts up here.
RIP Michael Jackson. I did own Thriller at one point in time.
God is good! Thanks KH for your letter. I appreciate it....and I am forever Pjim to you!!!! I'm pjim to only a few hundred people in this world and I wear that title with a tremendous amount of pride.....
The beret is ridiculous. First of all, you've got to literally shave the thing to get all the black fuzzies off. Then you have to wet it down and spend hours to get it shaped to your head. It is quite the pain in the butt and I still don't have it looking right, which means I'll be looking like a fool tomorrow.
Whatever........
The other great reward is tomorrow we are done at noon. This is big. I preached on Tuesday and Wednesday this week and was up to like midnight the night before preparing. Not fun when you are waking up at 4:45 AM. I was pleased with each sermon. It was good to finally be doing something I was comfortable doing. It has been drilled into us that the Chief of Chaplains thinks the current state of Army preaching is poor. That gives me some hope. I still feel overwhelmed with the learning curve, but I am always that way in the beginning of a new adventure.
With a light weekend coming up, I'll be sure to get some more posts up here.
RIP Michael Jackson. I did own Thriller at one point in time.
God is good! Thanks KH for your letter. I appreciate it....and I am forever Pjim to you!!!! I'm pjim to only a few hundred people in this world and I wear that title with a tremendous amount of pride.....
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
catching up--some fun and challenging reports
An insane busy week. Wed and Thursday were "out in the field" days that began at 5AM and ended well into darkness. Pretty much the reason for lack of posts this week. I have a somewhat light weekend so that should enable me to catch up on some stuff--including the ole blog.
On Monday we marched in out helmets and vests (30 pound flak jacket, or IBH, or whatever they call it) to Victory Tower. 5 stories high. You had to climb a ladder up it, rappel down it, climb up it again and then climb a ladder down it. Being afraid of heights this represented quite a challenge. It was scary but I did it all and was VERY thankful when I hit the ground for the last time. There was a female drill sgt. up on top who hooked me up to the safety rope before I rappelled. She didn't seem too interested in casual conversation and demanded that I kneel right next to the ledge so she could hook me up. Being terrified, I went what I thought was close enough to the edge--not close enough for her taste and she proceeded to share her heart with me. After I finally got hooked up, I had to basically plant my feet on the side of the building and lean back (remember, I'm 5 stories high). It was quite unnatural, but a few second later I was safe on the ground.
Later I had to climb back up so I could stick my feet over the edge and climb the cargo net back down. I was dreading this but did it with no difficulty. Quite the adventure.
On Wed and Thursday we were in the woods with maps and compasses and protractors. We were given coordinates and had to find certain markers. Proud to say that we found the marker when I was the lead navigator.
On Thursday I did what was, so far, the hardest thing I've done since I've been here: the low crawl in sand. Basically you've got to lie as flat as possible in the beach sand and pull yourself forward with one of your arms. Oh yeah, with your helmet and vest on. We had do do that for like 15 yards, than roll over and crawl under a barbed wire fence on our backs, than roll to a log wall and get over that. Torture. It was very hot (100 degrees), you go much slower than you think, and they have the sound of bombs and stuff blaring in the background. It was much harder than it sounds. We had one guy collapse after finishing and he ended up in the hospital. He's still there. Matter of fact a number of guys collapsed.
Not long after that my platoon had to clean up the mess and run with all of our stuff a couple hundred yards to catch the bus. Our leaders were yelling "hurry up", "get moving" and "we're waiting for you". ....In normal world there'd be a shred of compassion because you just went through torture and then cleaned up while everybody else strolled casually to the bus but this ain't the normal world. We had to run with like 75 pounds of gear in 100 degree weather......then.....
Then the bus driver went to the wrong road (it's a wilderness area) and we had to march in the heat and with all of our stuff for another 1/2 mile. We lost 2 more guys on that trip. I thought I was gonna drop too but I made it. Truly the strength of the Lord carried me.
Then we were tested on things like the gas mask, first aid, radio and map reading. No problems there.
Today was a class on the Myers-Briggs and some luncheon where I must of ate bad food cause I'm feeling quesy............. I also had a hearing test where it was made official that I've got a small amount of hearing loss. Nothing major but it's there (or not there, in this case). I remember standing in front of the speaker at he Ian Hunter concert at the Living Room in Providence and thinking to myself that while this might seem cool now--it comes with a price. Time to pay the piper.
I also found out that my blood type is 0 positive. I never knew that. 41 years old and I never knew my blood type. I was excited when I found out and started telling the lady who told me how happy I was to discover that I was O+. She didn't seem to share my joy....
Back in the classroom, the class received papers we handed in early Wed. morning. Of 140 students, only 10 got passing marks. I was one of them. Yipee! No rewrite for me.
I had a great conversation with a guy from Chicago last night. We were leaning against a tree in the deep woods, all sweaty and dirty in our army uniforms. The subject was the grace of the Lord and how He uses His people to dish it out. We both agreed that when one truly tastes the grace of Jesus, real change takes place. We also agreed that only a few actually ever taste it because we're all so afraid to share our frailties (or our "upstairs" if you remember that sermon), which is required in order to get to grace. We'd rather just talk about grace and hope we look good. It was a great talk and desperately needed to connect with a brother on that level.....
Let's see, what else?????? gonna skype Keri tonight and hit the sack......
grace and blessings,
I miss you all a lot.
On Monday we marched in out helmets and vests (30 pound flak jacket, or IBH, or whatever they call it) to Victory Tower. 5 stories high. You had to climb a ladder up it, rappel down it, climb up it again and then climb a ladder down it. Being afraid of heights this represented quite a challenge. It was scary but I did it all and was VERY thankful when I hit the ground for the last time. There was a female drill sgt. up on top who hooked me up to the safety rope before I rappelled. She didn't seem too interested in casual conversation and demanded that I kneel right next to the ledge so she could hook me up. Being terrified, I went what I thought was close enough to the edge--not close enough for her taste and she proceeded to share her heart with me. After I finally got hooked up, I had to basically plant my feet on the side of the building and lean back (remember, I'm 5 stories high). It was quite unnatural, but a few second later I was safe on the ground.
Later I had to climb back up so I could stick my feet over the edge and climb the cargo net back down. I was dreading this but did it with no difficulty. Quite the adventure.
On Wed and Thursday we were in the woods with maps and compasses and protractors. We were given coordinates and had to find certain markers. Proud to say that we found the marker when I was the lead navigator.
On Thursday I did what was, so far, the hardest thing I've done since I've been here: the low crawl in sand. Basically you've got to lie as flat as possible in the beach sand and pull yourself forward with one of your arms. Oh yeah, with your helmet and vest on. We had do do that for like 15 yards, than roll over and crawl under a barbed wire fence on our backs, than roll to a log wall and get over that. Torture. It was very hot (100 degrees), you go much slower than you think, and they have the sound of bombs and stuff blaring in the background. It was much harder than it sounds. We had one guy collapse after finishing and he ended up in the hospital. He's still there. Matter of fact a number of guys collapsed.
Not long after that my platoon had to clean up the mess and run with all of our stuff a couple hundred yards to catch the bus. Our leaders were yelling "hurry up", "get moving" and "we're waiting for you". ....In normal world there'd be a shred of compassion because you just went through torture and then cleaned up while everybody else strolled casually to the bus but this ain't the normal world. We had to run with like 75 pounds of gear in 100 degree weather......then.....
Then the bus driver went to the wrong road (it's a wilderness area) and we had to march in the heat and with all of our stuff for another 1/2 mile. We lost 2 more guys on that trip. I thought I was gonna drop too but I made it. Truly the strength of the Lord carried me.
Then we were tested on things like the gas mask, first aid, radio and map reading. No problems there.
Today was a class on the Myers-Briggs and some luncheon where I must of ate bad food cause I'm feeling quesy............. I also had a hearing test where it was made official that I've got a small amount of hearing loss. Nothing major but it's there (or not there, in this case). I remember standing in front of the speaker at he Ian Hunter concert at the Living Room in Providence and thinking to myself that while this might seem cool now--it comes with a price. Time to pay the piper.
I also found out that my blood type is 0 positive. I never knew that. 41 years old and I never knew my blood type. I was excited when I found out and started telling the lady who told me how happy I was to discover that I was O+. She didn't seem to share my joy....
Back in the classroom, the class received papers we handed in early Wed. morning. Of 140 students, only 10 got passing marks. I was one of them. Yipee! No rewrite for me.
I had a great conversation with a guy from Chicago last night. We were leaning against a tree in the deep woods, all sweaty and dirty in our army uniforms. The subject was the grace of the Lord and how He uses His people to dish it out. We both agreed that when one truly tastes the grace of Jesus, real change takes place. We also agreed that only a few actually ever taste it because we're all so afraid to share our frailties (or our "upstairs" if you remember that sermon), which is required in order to get to grace. We'd rather just talk about grace and hope we look good. It was a great talk and desperately needed to connect with a brother on that level.....
Let's see, what else?????? gonna skype Keri tonight and hit the sack......
grace and blessings,
I miss you all a lot.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
A light CH-BOLC weekend
It's 6:30AM. Nice to be waking up LATE for a change. Feeling tired but with little on the agenda today, I can grab a nap in the afternoon if necessary.
I'll be off to observe a Muslim service at 8. After that either a Catholic service or protestant contemporary (which would be closest to Solid Rock). We've got to do 9 of these observations while we're here. I want to get them all out of the way ASAP. (did 3 last week, so I'm ahead of schedule).
Yesterday I churned out a 3 page paper on the professional ethic of an Army officer. It's due Friday, but again, wanted to get it done so I wouldn't be freaking out this week.
At PT yesterday, we did something where we ran (hard) for 30 seconds and walked for 30 seconds. We did this for about 1/2 an hour. Thought it would be easy, but I was completly torched by the end. Had to ice my knee yesterday. Still hurts this morning. Signs of being 40.
Talked to the family using Skype yesterday. What a howl. This will make the time away soooooooooooo much easier. As Nathanael saw me he kept yelling "daddy, daddy". How cool is that?
Most of the leadership of the Chaplain program are evangelical Christians as far as I can tell. They make it clear who they serve (that would be Jesus for the slow to understand crowd). I realize that some folks think you need to check your Lord in at the door if you want to be a chaplain in the Army. That does not seem to be the case. Only time will tell.
Gotta run and get ready for the day!
I'll be off to observe a Muslim service at 8. After that either a Catholic service or protestant contemporary (which would be closest to Solid Rock). We've got to do 9 of these observations while we're here. I want to get them all out of the way ASAP. (did 3 last week, so I'm ahead of schedule).
Yesterday I churned out a 3 page paper on the professional ethic of an Army officer. It's due Friday, but again, wanted to get it done so I wouldn't be freaking out this week.
At PT yesterday, we did something where we ran (hard) for 30 seconds and walked for 30 seconds. We did this for about 1/2 an hour. Thought it would be easy, but I was completly torched by the end. Had to ice my knee yesterday. Still hurts this morning. Signs of being 40.
Talked to the family using Skype yesterday. What a howl. This will make the time away soooooooooooo much easier. As Nathanael saw me he kept yelling "daddy, daddy". How cool is that?
Most of the leadership of the Chaplain program are evangelical Christians as far as I can tell. They make it clear who they serve (that would be Jesus for the slow to understand crowd). I realize that some folks think you need to check your Lord in at the door if you want to be a chaplain in the Army. That does not seem to be the case. Only time will tell.
Gotta run and get ready for the day!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
some pix
I keep forgetting to take my camera. But here are some. Me, my room, and one of the instructors that I like, Chaplain (Major) Hart.
The Gas Chamber
Eating two plates of suicide wings is harder than the army gas chamber exercise.
There was a decent amount of build up to this event. I'm not exactly Rambo, but I knew all along it was hype. Don't get me wrong, it did burn a little and my eyes watered big time, but the same thing happens when I put a little extra "bomb" sauce in my chicken.
OK, we put on our gas masks outside, then lined up in the CB gas filled chamber and stood against a wall for a few minutes. Next we had to slightly break the seal of the mask, say our name and SS number and put it back on. This gave us a taste of the gas. After that we had to take the mask off completely and say our name and info again--with our eyes open. Then we left. Some snot and tears but that was about it.
Here's an old video of chaplains exiting the chamber:
I feel good today. We had night PT in one of the gyms and I ran on a treadmill. A nice easy run. I had fun adjusting the speed and incline. At one point I shut my eyes and tried to imagine myself running down Reeser Rd, but nearly fell off the thing. Note to self: always keep eyes open on a treadmill.
I give thanks to the Lord. I trusted that the pipe/pond issue would resolve itself and it did. My neighbor was able to fix it.
One of my constant prayers has been for Nathanael. Of all the kids, he's the only one that cannot understand what in the world happened to his father. When Keri tells me that he calls more me I always well up (like right now). Though Keri and I cannot make him understand, I am trusting that Jesus can give him a peace beyond understanding. God is faithful.
I'm beginning to get a preaching jones. My last sermon was almost a month ago. Longest such streak since 1997.
Tommorow is a day of first aid (so is Friday). PT in the early morning. Gonna call my mom, Keri, do some laundry, then got to bed.
grace & blessings
There was a decent amount of build up to this event. I'm not exactly Rambo, but I knew all along it was hype. Don't get me wrong, it did burn a little and my eyes watered big time, but the same thing happens when I put a little extra "bomb" sauce in my chicken.
OK, we put on our gas masks outside, then lined up in the CB gas filled chamber and stood against a wall for a few minutes. Next we had to slightly break the seal of the mask, say our name and SS number and put it back on. This gave us a taste of the gas. After that we had to take the mask off completely and say our name and info again--with our eyes open. Then we left. Some snot and tears but that was about it.
Here's an old video of chaplains exiting the chamber:
I feel good today. We had night PT in one of the gyms and I ran on a treadmill. A nice easy run. I had fun adjusting the speed and incline. At one point I shut my eyes and tried to imagine myself running down Reeser Rd, but nearly fell off the thing. Note to self: always keep eyes open on a treadmill.
I give thanks to the Lord. I trusted that the pipe/pond issue would resolve itself and it did. My neighbor was able to fix it.
One of my constant prayers has been for Nathanael. Of all the kids, he's the only one that cannot understand what in the world happened to his father. When Keri tells me that he calls more me I always well up (like right now). Though Keri and I cannot make him understand, I am trusting that Jesus can give him a peace beyond understanding. God is faithful.
I'm beginning to get a preaching jones. My last sermon was almost a month ago. Longest such streak since 1997.
Tommorow is a day of first aid (so is Friday). PT in the early morning. Gonna call my mom, Keri, do some laundry, then got to bed.
grace & blessings
Monday, June 8, 2009
A long day
Up at 4:30 to get ready for PT (physical training), morning in class (army writing, army problem solving) and this afternoon at a team-building challenge course. I am tired, but feeling good.
We had to walk at least a mile in the hot sun and full uniform to get to the challenges. We were given tasks like getting the group across a row of stumps without touching the ground with nothing but a 2x4. Lots of stuff like that. My group was able to complete one of the challenges. I didn't hear any other group completing a challenge so we felt good about that. I personally did pretty well (imho). I did avoid a near disaster as one of the guys failed to secure a wooden plank I was balancing on and I fell backwards to the ground. It was funny because the Fort Jackson quality assurance guy happened to be there and immediately began interviewing me after the fall. Alls good. I did sweat like a dog on the walk back (and drank like 3 liters of water).
I was able to meet with the financial services lady and we did square some things away. Right after I got back from the meeting, one of the teachers (also called the cadre) got up and instructed the class to stop going to Mrs. Smiths office. So I got in in the nick of time. I still have a few stupid administrative odds and ends yet to be settled.
Man I'm tired. Tommorow for PT we are having what they call a "muscle fatigue" workout. Yipee.
Keri told me of a small problem we are having with the pond back home. I have been constantly praying for my family and stuff like this. I know my neighbor was working on it. I'm trusting that it is a done issue as I type this. God answers prayer!
Awaiting a call from Keri.
I do miss all the folks at Solid Rock tremendously. There aren't to many people in this world who know me as Pastor Jim. A title I will cherish forever.
We had to walk at least a mile in the hot sun and full uniform to get to the challenges. We were given tasks like getting the group across a row of stumps without touching the ground with nothing but a 2x4. Lots of stuff like that. My group was able to complete one of the challenges. I didn't hear any other group completing a challenge so we felt good about that. I personally did pretty well (imho). I did avoid a near disaster as one of the guys failed to secure a wooden plank I was balancing on and I fell backwards to the ground. It was funny because the Fort Jackson quality assurance guy happened to be there and immediately began interviewing me after the fall. Alls good. I did sweat like a dog on the walk back (and drank like 3 liters of water).
I was able to meet with the financial services lady and we did square some things away. Right after I got back from the meeting, one of the teachers (also called the cadre) got up and instructed the class to stop going to Mrs. Smiths office. So I got in in the nick of time. I still have a few stupid administrative odds and ends yet to be settled.
Man I'm tired. Tommorow for PT we are having what they call a "muscle fatigue" workout. Yipee.
Keri told me of a small problem we are having with the pond back home. I have been constantly praying for my family and stuff like this. I know my neighbor was working on it. I'm trusting that it is a done issue as I type this. God answers prayer!
Awaiting a call from Keri.
I do miss all the folks at Solid Rock tremendously. There aren't to many people in this world who know me as Pastor Jim. A title I will cherish forever.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
more CHBOLC
"The truth is, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked
and go wherever you wanted to.
But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands,
and others will direct you and take you where you don't want to go."
John 21:18
I am beginning to realize the source of some darkness in my heart.
One of the major internal challenges I face involves submission. I find myself silently resenting those in authority. Those who are checking to see if I'm drinking enough water. Those looking carefully at my uniform. Those who yell or talk too directly for my taste.
For the last 10 plus years at my desk, I set my schedule. I was the one in charge of the agenda. I set expectations and managed outcomes. In less than one week my world has changed 180 degrees. Now I must be where I am told to be at least 15 minutes before I'm supposed to be there. I'm now accountable for some of the smallest details of my life. I cannot get into my car and drive outside of the base without permission. My system is in a minor state of shock. At times I go negative.
This is a spiritual battle Satan must not win.
For some time I've regarded submission as central to spiritual maturity. That lack of submisson stands at the core of many of our inner struggles. Well the rubber is meeting the road.
The motto of Fort Jackson is "Victory Starts Here". I believe that if this next chapter of my life is going to go anywhere, than victory must start here, with the submission issue.
I thank God for the victory that lies ahead. For revealing this to me. I envision being a better chaplain, a better husband, a better father, a better person, because of this battle.
Battles are tough. but victory is sweet. ........................................................not there yet but identifying the problem is 1/2 the battle.
___________________________________________________________
Did some more drills this morning. I need to work on my footwork. I was also issued a helmet and other "battle gear". I need to get a pitcure of me in my uniform up here so everyone can get a chuckle :). NOTE-remember, I am not EVER authorized to touch a weapon (so rest easy).
Tomorrow I am planning on going to 3 religious services to observe and take notes for an assignment......
and go wherever you wanted to.
But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands,
and others will direct you and take you where you don't want to go."
John 21:18
I am beginning to realize the source of some darkness in my heart.
One of the major internal challenges I face involves submission. I find myself silently resenting those in authority. Those who are checking to see if I'm drinking enough water. Those looking carefully at my uniform. Those who yell or talk too directly for my taste.
For the last 10 plus years at my desk, I set my schedule. I was the one in charge of the agenda. I set expectations and managed outcomes. In less than one week my world has changed 180 degrees. Now I must be where I am told to be at least 15 minutes before I'm supposed to be there. I'm now accountable for some of the smallest details of my life. I cannot get into my car and drive outside of the base without permission. My system is in a minor state of shock. At times I go negative.
This is a spiritual battle Satan must not win.
For some time I've regarded submission as central to spiritual maturity. That lack of submisson stands at the core of many of our inner struggles. Well the rubber is meeting the road.
The motto of Fort Jackson is "Victory Starts Here". I believe that if this next chapter of my life is going to go anywhere, than victory must start here, with the submission issue.
I thank God for the victory that lies ahead. For revealing this to me. I envision being a better chaplain, a better husband, a better father, a better person, because of this battle.
Battles are tough. but victory is sweet. ........................................................not there yet but identifying the problem is 1/2 the battle.
___________________________________________________________
Did some more drills this morning. I need to work on my footwork. I was also issued a helmet and other "battle gear". I need to get a pitcure of me in my uniform up here so everyone can get a chuckle :). NOTE-remember, I am not EVER authorized to touch a weapon (so rest easy).
Tomorrow I am planning on going to 3 religious services to observe and take notes for an assignment......
Friday, June 5, 2009
CH-BOLC--day 6
We had our first physical training assessment this morning. I was pleased with my performance.
1 minute of pushups==29
1 minute of situps==39 (I started out too slowly--could have done more)
1 mile in approx 6:47 (not sure on that, I thought someone noted the time for me--they didn't)
Only gonna get better. My goal is to pass the PT end of June assessment. If I pass that I will not have to do nightly PT (but will have to go in the morning).
I have realized something about my heart in my first week here. I'm gonna hold it for tomorrow or Sunday cause it might get wordy and I'm tired. More training in marching in the AM.
I heard some high-brass chaplains preach/talk this morning. The emphasis was loving and serving the soldiers--thats what being a chaplain is all about. I was inspired and motivated to get out there and serve them.
1 minute of pushups==29
1 minute of situps==39 (I started out too slowly--could have done more)
1 mile in approx 6:47 (not sure on that, I thought someone noted the time for me--they didn't)
Only gonna get better. My goal is to pass the PT end of June assessment. If I pass that I will not have to do nightly PT (but will have to go in the morning).
I have realized something about my heart in my first week here. I'm gonna hold it for tomorrow or Sunday cause it might get wordy and I'm tired. More training in marching in the AM.
I heard some high-brass chaplains preach/talk this morning. The emphasis was loving and serving the soldiers--thats what being a chaplain is all about. I was inspired and motivated to get out there and serve them.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
CH-BOLC day 5
I've got to be at one of the athletic fields at 4:50AM tomorrow. Ouch! It's for an assessment of my training prowess. It includes a timed mile, so here is where all that running since the beginning of March comes into play. Not sure what to expect, if I ran a mile in under 8 minutes I'd be very happy. I'm actually looking forward to it.
This first month is going to be challenging, looking at the schedule, it mellows out a bit in July-August. But until then, there will be some very long and rigorous days.
I did pass the height/weight test with flying colors. According to my height/weight/age, I cannot weigh more than 180. I weighed in at 161. If I can get down to 155, than I will be at my college weight. Unbelievable!
I've got some red tape to go through to get my family on the rolls here. I will be glad when this pain in the butt stuff is behind me.
Gotta get to bed and look at a couple of things I need to memorize.....
I talked to Keri and the kids today and they seem to be doing well. Also got an email from an old seminary friend Ken Johnson--a very pleasant surprize. Maybe I'll have some time this weekend to throw out some emails......
This first month is going to be challenging, looking at the schedule, it mellows out a bit in July-August. But until then, there will be some very long and rigorous days.
I did pass the height/weight test with flying colors. According to my height/weight/age, I cannot weigh more than 180. I weighed in at 161. If I can get down to 155, than I will be at my college weight. Unbelievable!
I've got some red tape to go through to get my family on the rolls here. I will be glad when this pain in the butt stuff is behind me.
Gotta get to bed and look at a couple of things I need to memorize.....
I talked to Keri and the kids today and they seem to be doing well. Also got an email from an old seminary friend Ken Johnson--a very pleasant surprize. Maybe I'll have some time this weekend to throw out some emails......
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
CH-BOLC day 4
4 shots in the right arm today, just a little sore...we also started formation drills and movements, stuff like about face, saluting, and marching. I was completely lost at first but am beginning to get the gist of it. Having zero rhythm doesn't help matters. I kept thinking of movies like "Stripes" and "Private Benjamin, which I actually never saw but know enough about the plot to identify with the protagonists.
SIGN OF BEING A FATHER: I just unzipped one of the many pockets of my luggage and pulled out a pair of Emilys and Derricks underwear and Toris socks. I just might throw them on the floor and make this place feel more like home.
Tomorrow is our first weigh-in. Some of the guys are nervous, but I should be fine. Physical training begins Friday. I'm OK (I think)to pass the minimum requirements now, but fully expect to be a machine by the end of the three months. I'm actually looking forward to it--though I know it will be hard.
I met a guy today who will be going to Ft Hood at the same time I am. A single, Hispanic guy from Maryland. He told me he wanted to go to Ft Hood because he wanted to be deployed quickly and was told that Hood was the place to go. Of course I panicked and went off on how it would be poor leadership to send a green chaplain so quickly to the front lines. He actually bought into my logic. In the end I told him (and myself) that God is in control and we walk in faith. Seemed like a cool guy. Assemeblies of God dude.
Well, gonna call Keri than finish studying, than get to bed--late(r) report time tomorrow (8AM).
---------------------------------------see ya!
SIGN OF BEING A FATHER: I just unzipped one of the many pockets of my luggage and pulled out a pair of Emilys and Derricks underwear and Toris socks. I just might throw them on the floor and make this place feel more like home.
Tomorrow is our first weigh-in. Some of the guys are nervous, but I should be fine. Physical training begins Friday. I'm OK (I think)to pass the minimum requirements now, but fully expect to be a machine by the end of the three months. I'm actually looking forward to it--though I know it will be hard.
I met a guy today who will be going to Ft Hood at the same time I am. A single, Hispanic guy from Maryland. He told me he wanted to go to Ft Hood because he wanted to be deployed quickly and was told that Hood was the place to go. Of course I panicked and went off on how it would be poor leadership to send a green chaplain so quickly to the front lines. He actually bought into my logic. In the end I told him (and myself) that God is in control and we walk in faith. Seemed like a cool guy. Assemeblies of God dude.
Well, gonna call Keri than finish studying, than get to bed--late(r) report time tomorrow (8AM).
---------------------------------------see ya!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
CH-BOLC--day 3
spent most of the day waiting....for a military ID card and to get my teeth checked.
The teeth thing went well. One of the helpers, a middle-aged, southern lady with extra attitude told me I looked sexy with my haircut. I was looking at my military ID card and with my white, shaved head looking like platinum blond, I kinda look like Eminem.
Tomorrow we have to report in uniforms, which I am nervous about. I have so much to learn about Army custom and culture--saluting, showing respect...all that stuff is like a new language to me. I have pins and patches that need to be in the right place, my pants need to go down to the correct spot, my hat needs to be correct........
What was cool was watching all these young soldiers in basic. They were kids. The Lord has put a great love in my heart for them.
I just got off the phone with Keri and the kids. I'm still unable to talk to them without crying. I'm so blessed.
And thanks to everyone from Solid Rock who have been concerned with Keri. She told me many of you have reached out to her. Again, I'm so blessed.
Here's my address:
Chaplain Basic Officer Leader Course (Class:09-002)
Captain James Souza
USACHCS
10100 Lee Rd.
Fort Jackson, SC 29207-7090
The teeth thing went well. One of the helpers, a middle-aged, southern lady with extra attitude told me I looked sexy with my haircut. I was looking at my military ID card and with my white, shaved head looking like platinum blond, I kinda look like Eminem.
Tomorrow we have to report in uniforms, which I am nervous about. I have so much to learn about Army custom and culture--saluting, showing respect...all that stuff is like a new language to me. I have pins and patches that need to be in the right place, my pants need to go down to the correct spot, my hat needs to be correct........
What was cool was watching all these young soldiers in basic. They were kids. The Lord has put a great love in my heart for them.
I just got off the phone with Keri and the kids. I'm still unable to talk to them without crying. I'm so blessed.
And thanks to everyone from Solid Rock who have been concerned with Keri. She told me many of you have reached out to her. Again, I'm so blessed.
Here's my address:
Chaplain Basic Officer Leader Course (Class:09-002)
Captain James Souza
USACHCS
10100 Lee Rd.
Fort Jackson, SC 29207-7090
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